Conservative Satire  


Savvy Restaurateur Moves To Take Over Newly Vacant Red Lobster Locations

U.S. — Resourceful restaurateur Eugene H. Krabs announced plans this week to convert the hundreds of ...View More

Peacock Releases Movie Saying It's OK To Eat Your Young Because Some Animals Do It

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Streaming service Peacock announced the release this week of a documentary that prov ...View More

VeggieTales Cast And Crew Come Forward To Accuse Bob The Tomato Of Creating Toxic Environment On Set

HOLLYWOOD, CA — After years of silence, cast and crew from VeggieTales rocked the entertainment indu ...View More

Amid skyrocketing inflation, Joe Biden recommends Americans ‘stop being so poor’

WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of forward-thinking leadership, President Joe Biden has unveile ...View More

Here Are 9 More Extremist Flags Spotted At Alito's Home

Justice Alito is in hot water after the "An Appeal to Heaven" flag was spotted outside his home, as  ...View More

Terrorists Learn Harsh Lesson That If You Rape And Murder Women, The United Nations Will Give You Your Own Country And A Billion Dollars

GAZA — Terrorists across the globe faced the bitter reality today that if they rape and murder hundr ...View More

Major League Cricket Introduces Pitch Clock In Attempt To Reduce Average Game Time To Seven Days

LONDON — Major League Cricket has announced that all future league games will use a pitch clock in o ...View More

9 Insults From The Bible You Should Start Using Right Away

Brought to you by: RevelationMediaAre you on the lookout for some new sick burns to unleash on your  ...View More

Wife Sure Cutting Own Bangs Will Solve All Problems — Update: Oh No

JANESVILLE, WI — Local wife Karinne Clobert was reportedly having one of those days, according to ne ...View More

'Go On, Git! Be Free! Get Outta Here!' Cries Blubbering Red Lobster Chef Throwing Rocks At Lobster Scurrying Off Into The Woods

ORLANDO, FL — The mass closings of Red Lobster seafood restaurants around the nation have left many  ...View More

MEMORIAL DAY: Nation mourns George Floyd who died when his spaceship exploded in 2020

US—This Memorial Day, the nation is mourning NASA legend George Floyd who died two years ago when hi ...View More

EXCLUSIVE: Lone Survivor of Iranian Helicopter Crash Tells Harrowing Tale

TEHRAN—Iranian helicopter pilot Hilla Reik Linton has emerged as the sole survivor of a catastrophic ...View More

Bob Dylan Releases Opera Album

Singer Songwriter and Legend Bob Dylan known for pushing the envelope, has ripped the envelope up, a ...View More

BREAKING: AOC spotted at Trump rally in South Bronx

THE BRONX—In a bizarre and desperate attempt to garner sympathy and support, Congresswoman Alexandri ...View More

10 Jobs Being Eliminated At Pixar

Brought to you by: Angel StudiosTimes are tough at Disney subsidiaries, with even the one-time anima ...View More

What Luck! Biden Finds Prewritten Answer To A Completely Spontaneous Press Question Right On His Note Card

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden appeared visibly overwhelmed Thursday during an impromptu on-the- ...View More

Newsom Issues Ban On Legal-Citizen Voting

SACRAMENTO, CA - In a recent move to increase voter access, strengthen election integrity, and impro ...View More

Ahead of Bronx Rally, Trump Announces Aaron Judge As VP Pick

In a move that has left both political analysts and baseball fans scratching their heads, Donald Tru ...View More

Biden Placed In Presidential Weeble-Wobble To Keep Him From Falling Down

WASHINGTON, DC — According to sources in the White House, President Biden has been given his very ow ...View More

Weird: Soros-Funded D.A. Declines To Prosecute Soros-Funded Campus Protesters

NEW YORK, NY — In what analysts have labeled a shocking turn of events, a district attorney whose ca ...View More

Public School Valedictorian Wows Fellow Students During Graduation Speech By Reciting Entire Alphabet

EDINA, MN — Sources at Cesar Chavez Obama George Floyd High School say that public school valedictor ...View More

Iran Confirms They Are Interviewing Several New Turban-Wearing Bearded Genocidal Psychopaths To Replace Deceased President

TEHRAN — Following the death of one of its prominent national leaders, the Iran government confirmed ...View More

DOJ Authorizes Postal Workers To Use Deadly Force On Trump When Delivering His Mail

U.S. — Unsealed documents from the Department of Justice reveal that postal workers were formally au ...View More

AOC: If socialism doesn’t work, how did I get filthy rich fighting income inequality?

As a proud advocate for socialism, I have been tirelessly fighting for income equality and a fairer  ...View More

The Catcher In The Rye

 Commentary & Satire by Bill the Butcher Retirement is where you wake up in the mornin ...View More

Millions saddened to hear that Klaus Schwab did not die

Millions of people around the world were saddened to hear the news that Klaus Schwab, the founder an ...View More

Jews Announce They Have Developed Terraforming Machine That Can, Say, Quickly Build A Mountain In Front Of A Flying Helicopter

ISRAEL — In a statement completely unrelated to anything currently in the news, the Jews announced t ...View More

Iranian Government Claims People Dancing In Streets Is Part Of The Mourning Process

TEHRAN, IRAN — According to official sources in the Iranian government, the masses of Iranian citize ...View More

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