Conservative Satire
Ace Frehley Will Clean Your Toilet for $7000!
The past and present members of KISS are masters in the art of promotion and creating unus ...View More
8 Handy Tricks Women Can Use To Beat Trans Athletes
It's the dawn of a new era in women's athletics, as they are now open to dudes! While the playing fi ...View More
‘Why Do I Feel So Far From God?’ Says Man Scrolling Through X, Binging Netflix Simultaneously
JOHNS CREEK, GA — In the middle of his normal routine of scrolling through X and binging Netflix for ...View More
Palestine Protesters Scatter As Riot Police Charge In With Sticks Of Deodorant
NEW YORK, NY — Riot police armed with sticks of deodorant charged at Pro-Hamas demonstrators this we ...View More
BREAKING: The ‘Free Palpatine’ movement spreads across the US
In a bizarre and slightly humorous twist, a peculiar movement known as the “Free Palpatine” campaign ...View More
Dolly Parton Joins Slipknot on Stage At Tiny Venue in CA. Desert
Country legend Dolly Parton shocked fans and melted faces alike when she joined heavy metal icons Sl ...View More
Manhattan DA Bragg Objects When Judge Tells Jury Trump Should Get ‘A Fair Trial’
(New York City, N.Y.) Manhattan District Alvin Bragg strenuously objected this week after Judge Juan ...View More
Joe Biden Claims Presidential Immunity From $1 Million Fine After Returning Library Book 65 Years Late
(Scranton, PA.) President Joe Biden invoked immunity when he showed up at a local library in his hom ...View More
First Lady Jill Biden Waves At Joe From Air Force One As She Takes Over Presidency
(Andrews Air Force Base, Md.) First Lady Jill Biden could be seen waving goodbye to her husband, Joe ...View More
‘Israel Must End Its Illegal Occupation!’ Cry People Staging Illegal Occupation
U.S. — According to sources, college students have illegally occupied public spaces across the count ...View More
8 Changes Biden Made To Title IX
Brought to you by: CrossExaminedPresident Joe Biden made significant changes to Title IX last week, ...View More
Hamas Thanks College Student Supporters By Promising Them A Quick Death During Global Intifada
RAFAH — Hamas has issued a statement of thanks to American university students for their unwavering ...View More
Chris Christie Recalls Time He ‘Just Couldn’t Eat’ The Last White Castle
(Hoboken, N.J.) Former GOP presidential candidate and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie spoke passionat ...View More
Adam Schiff Says Republican Lawmaker Taking Last Cob Salad During Lunch Break ‘Work Of Russia’
(Washington, D.C.) Rep. Adam Schiff claimed after a Republican lawmaker took the last cob salad at l ...View More
Missouri Dem Cori Bush Rethinking ‘Claw’ Fingernails After Stabbing Self In Eye
(St. Louis, Mo.) Rep. Cori Bush said she’s giving serious thought to ditching her claw-like fingerna ...View More
Asian Kid Who Actually Went To Columbia To Learn Gettin' Real Sick Of This Crap
NEW YORK, NY — As unrest due to anti-Israel protests continued into another day, an Asian kid who we ...View More
10 Famous Presidential Quotes If All Presidents Spoke Like Joe Biden
Have you ever noticed that Joe Biden has a funny way of speaking? From his endearing way of retellin ...View More
L.A. Mayor’s Podium Stolen During News Conference Touting Drop In Crime
LOS ANGELES, CA — In what some commentators are calling a political bug-a-boo, Los Angeles Mayor Kar ...View More
Archeologists Discover Fake 100 Dollar Bill Gospel Tract Used By Philip The Evangelist
SEBASTIA — A notable piece of Christian history was unearthed this week, as archeologists discovered ...View More
10 Famous Liberals Explain Why They Oppose Free Speech
While free speech boasts supporters such as Elon Musk and the Constitution, there are many Americans ...View More
