Conservative Satire
BREAKING: Trump indicted for not sniffing kids during Miami Grand Prix visit
MIAMI—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the heinous crime of not sniffing children ...View More
Disney World Announces New 'The Chosen' Roller Coaster Which Goes Underground For 3 Days Before Rising Again
ORLANDO, FL — Walt Disney World has unveiled plans for its new The Chosen roller coaster, which will ...View More
Ivy League Grads Slip Below County Fair Carnies On Forbes List Of Most Desirable Employee Candidates
U.S. — Forbes has released its newest list of "Most Desirable Employee Candidates", which saw Ivy Le ...View More
Trump’s Finger Hovers Over ‘Send’ Button As He Ponders Whether Sick Burn Worth Another $10,000
MANHATTAN, NY — After coming up with a devastating burn about the prosecutor's mom, former President ...View More
New York DA Indicts Trump For Bringing Firefighters Pizza But No Salad Or Cheesy Bread
NEW YORK — Former President Donald Trump has been indicted by the New York District Attorney for all ...View More
People Blocking Students From College Based On Race Probably On Right Side Of History Again
U.S. — Groundbreaking, surprising new research suggests that people who block students from higher e ...View More
Mick Mars Selling Motley Crue Stained Couch From 1985 Tour on Craigslist
Legendary guitarist Mick Mars of Mötley Crüe is selling a couch used by the band during their 1985 t ...View More
9 Changes Disney Is Bringing To 'The Chosen'
The official announcement that the popular biblical drama The Chosen will begin streaming on Disney+ ...View More
Mark Hamill Joins Death Star Press Conference To Say What A Good Job He Thinks The Emperor Is Doing
DEATH STAR — Viewers of the Imperial News Network were stunned today, as Mark Hamill joined a Death ...View More
10 Ways To Beat The Fascist Police Coming To Arrest You For Supporting Palestine
The fascist police state is coming to arrest you for supporting Palestine and for no other reason th ...View More
Nation Braces for BS epidemic after shock revelations from the Klaus Loon Centre for Global Dementia
SHOCK NEWS IN BRIEF SOURCE: The Daily Scare Scientists have discovered the primary cause ...View More
Doctor Reminds You To Arrive Early So You Can Wait Even Longer
U.S. — In a helpful message regarding your upcoming appointment, your doctor has reminded you to be ...View More
Congressional Democrats Demand $40 Billion For UCLA Protest Border Security
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A legislative stalemate appeared to be brewing on Capitol Hill as congressional D ...View More
Immigration Crisis Ended As Frat Boys Deployed To Guard Southern Border
UNITED STATES — The immigration crisis appears to be finally over after the Department of Homeland S ...View More
And on a lighter note . . .
Intro by Steve Cook The best way to take down the would be tyrants of our present world is ...View More
Doctor Points On MRI To Part Of Man's Brain Where 'Seinfeld' Bass Riff Has Been Playing For Over Two Decades
GRANDVIEW, MO — A patient's lingering questions were finally answered today, as a doctor pointed out ...View More
9 Reasonable Demands From Students Occupying Campus Buildings
Brought to you by: My Patriot SupplyMuch has been made about the student protesters occupying spaces ...View More
Baby Patiently Waiting Until Fully Strapped In Car Seat To Unleash Diaper Apocalypse
RUIDOSO, NM — Local baby Oliver Daniels patiently waited to be completely strapped in his car seat b ...View More
King Solomon Dies Of Old Age Waiting For 700 Wives To Decide On Restaurant
JERUSALEM — Sad news emerged from the royal palace today, as it was announced that King Solomon had ...View More
American Flag Defended By Frat Boy Heroes Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, And Dylan
CHAPEL HILL, NC — The American flag was defended from crazed protesters by a group of University of ...View More
They Call Her Stormy
They Call Her Stormy DictionaryDefinition from Oxford LanguagesProstitute: nounA person, in par ...View More
9 Highly Effective Ways To Remove Protesters From Your Campus
If you're part of the administration of a major university, what you've seen on the news may have yo ...View More
UCLA Replaces Student IDs With New Fashionable Identifying Armbands
LOS ANGELES, CA — In a new initiative to streamline the school's identification process, UCLA announ ...View More
'I Like Coldplay,' Man Says In Powerful Coming Out Speech
KANSAS CITY, MO — Local man Dave Barrett let friends and family know he was totally gay by announcin ...View More
Nation mourns horrible tragedy that mass shooter wasn’t white
(CNN) Thousands across the country are mourning the loss by the mainstream media of another chance t ...View More
Texas Governor sets up “Liberation Zone” for rioting college students in local prison
AUSTIN—In a bold move that has stunned the nation, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has announced a revolu ...View More
Man Introduces Himself To Next-Door Neighbors Who Just Recently Moved In 9 Years Ago
CHINO, CA — Residents of a local neighborhood grew more closely knit this week, as a man introduced ...View More
10 Essential Life Skills Your Kid Will Learn At An Ivy League University
Brought to you by: PraxisIvy Leagues have been making the headlines lately, but what can students ac ...View More
