Conservative Satire
Doctor Reminds You To Arrive Early So You Can Wait Even Longer
U.S. — In a helpful message regarding your upcoming appointment, your doctor has reminded you to be ...View More
Congressional Democrats Demand $40 Billion For UCLA Protest Border Security
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A legislative stalemate appeared to be brewing on Capitol Hill as congressional D ...View More
Immigration Crisis Ended As Frat Boys Deployed To Guard Southern Border
UNITED STATES — The immigration crisis appears to be finally over after the Department of Homeland S ...View More
And on a lighter note . . .
Intro by Steve Cook The best way to take down the would be tyrants of our present world is ...View More
Doctor Points On MRI To Part Of Man's Brain Where 'Seinfeld' Bass Riff Has Been Playing For Over Two Decades
GRANDVIEW, MO — A patient's lingering questions were finally answered today, as a doctor pointed out ...View More
9 Reasonable Demands From Students Occupying Campus Buildings
Brought to you by: My Patriot SupplyMuch has been made about the student protesters occupying spaces ...View More
Baby Patiently Waiting Until Fully Strapped In Car Seat To Unleash Diaper Apocalypse
RUIDOSO, NM — Local baby Oliver Daniels patiently waited to be completely strapped in his car seat b ...View More
King Solomon Dies Of Old Age Waiting For 700 Wives To Decide On Restaurant
JERUSALEM — Sad news emerged from the royal palace today, as it was announced that King Solomon had ...View More
American Flag Defended By Frat Boy Heroes Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, And Dylan
CHAPEL HILL, NC — The American flag was defended from crazed protesters by a group of University of ...View More
They Call Her Stormy
They Call Her Stormy DictionaryDefinition from Oxford LanguagesProstitute: nounA person, in par ...View More
9 Highly Effective Ways To Remove Protesters From Your Campus
If you're part of the administration of a major university, what you've seen on the news may have yo ...View More
UCLA Replaces Student IDs With New Fashionable Identifying Armbands
LOS ANGELES, CA — In a new initiative to streamline the school's identification process, UCLA announ ...View More
'I Like Coldplay,' Man Says In Powerful Coming Out Speech
KANSAS CITY, MO — Local man Dave Barrett let friends and family know he was totally gay by announcin ...View More
Nation mourns horrible tragedy that mass shooter wasn’t white
(CNN) Thousands across the country are mourning the loss by the mainstream media of another chance t ...View More
Texas Governor sets up “Liberation Zone” for rioting college students in local prison
AUSTIN—In a bold move that has stunned the nation, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has announced a revolu ...View More
Man Introduces Himself To Next-Door Neighbors Who Just Recently Moved In 9 Years Ago
CHINO, CA — Residents of a local neighborhood grew more closely knit this week, as a man introduced ...View More
10 Essential Life Skills Your Kid Will Learn At An Ivy League University
Brought to you by: PraxisIvy Leagues have been making the headlines lately, but what can students ac ...View More
Report: You've Gone Weeks Without Having The 1-877-KARS-4-KIDS Jingle Stuck In Your Head. Great Job. Keep It Up!
U.S. — According to sources, you have now gone several weeks without that delightful jingle from the ...View More
New Study: Mick Jagger Is Probably Your Father If You Were Born After 1964
A new Dutch study has proven that Mick Jagger probably slept with your Mother. That means Mick ...View More
David Gilmour’s New Album Contains Roger Waters & Drake Diss Tracks
David Gilmour’s new album apparently disses Roger Waters & Drake. The Pink Floyd guitarist has a ...View More
To Avoid Falling, Biden To Traverse Lawn In Giant Hamster Ball
WASHINGTON, DC - In an ongoing effort to keep the President from running into stationary objects, Wh ...View More
Biden Signs Executive Order Directing His Campaign To Hire Trump’s Campaign Managers
(The White House) President Biden has signed an executive order directing his campaign team to go ou ...View More
VP Harris Makes Biden Call Hubby To Tell Him She’s Working Late Again
(Washington, D.C.) Vice President Kamala Harris once again asked President Biden to call Second Husb ...View More
ZOOMERS 2 BOOMERS: Podcast Premier
Going forward this forum … Zoomers 2 Boomers … will be a platform for discussing and reporting o ...View More
Kristi Noem Clarifies Killing Puppies Makes Up Only 3% Of What She Does
PIERRE, SD — After detailing in a newly released book how she shot a puppy that was too hard to trai ...View More
'I'm Sorry I Have To Do This,' Says Kristi Noem Pumping Shotgun After Puppy Playfully Barks At Mailman
PIERRE, SD — After Governor Kristi Noem caught her puppy playfully barking at the mailman today, she ...View More
After Learning She Killed Her Puppy, Dr. Fauci Endorses Kristi Noem
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Dr. Anthony Fauci has come out as a major supporter of Governor Kristi Noem after ...View More
Ukraine’s Zelensky Inks Deal With Biden To Give Back All Military Equipment Russia Doesn’t Destroy
(Washington, D.C.) Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky agreed to President Biden’s terms that he ...View More
