BREAKING: Insurrection is okay again

WASHINGTON, DC—The once-reviled act of undermining democratic institutions, has been given a stunning facelift. It appears that insurrection, historically frowned upon in the American political landscape, has now been officially declared as “in” – all thanks to Rashida Tlaib.

It all began on a sunny afternoon when Rashida Tlaib, known for her fiery rhetoric and unwavering determination, decided that it was her turn to spearhead an insurrection. But there was a crucial difference this time; it was led by a Democrat.

In this thrilling era of political transformation, insurrection has been given a fresh coat of paint and a fancy new name: “protest with gusto.” And when Tlaib is involved, it’s the most fashionable form of protest one can partake in.

Fashion-Forward Revolutionary Wear: No longer do insurrectionists don combat boots and battle gear. The trendiest insurrectionists sport the latest in vegan leather and ethically-sourced hemp clothing, ensuring they stay comfortably chic during their rebellious acts.

The Selfie Revolution: Forget about causing chaos; the new insurrectionists are all about capturing the perfect selfie during their endeavors. Hashtags such as #Insurrectionista and #RevolutionRunway are dominating social media. Because why change the system if you can’t look fabulous while doing it?

Protest Cafés: Tlaib and her fellow insurrectionists prefer plotting their strategies in quaint, locally-sourced cafes with soy lattes in hand. They discuss the subversion of the political establishment over artisanal avocado toast and fair-trade coffee.

Vegan Tear Gas: Traditional tear gas is a no-go. The contemporary insurrectionist prefers cruelty-free alternatives, ensuring their dissent is in line with their strong stance on animal rights.

Inclusive Uprisings: Unlike the exclusive insurrections of old, this new wave is all about inclusion. Rashida Tlaib’s insurrection welcomes people from all walks of life, regardless of dietary preferences, pronouns, or political ideologies.

It appears that insurrection has been transformed into a fashion statement, championed by a progressive leader. The message is clear: Insurrection isn’t just a tool of the masses anymore; it’s now a symbol of social and political chicness. The question remains, however, if this new trend of insurrection is here to stay or if it’s just a fleeting fad like bell-bottoms or pet rocks. Only time will reveal whether this stylish spin on insurrection will revolutionize political engagement or eventually fizzle out.

_{Originally published October 18, 2023.}

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