Legendary guitarist Mick Mars of Mötley Crüe is selling a couch used by the band during their 1985 tour. That’s right, Mars is selling a gross, smelly, diseased, DNA stained couch. The couch was removed from the band’s tour bus after the tour ended and has been in Mars home studio ever since. Who wouldn’t want to own a Motley Crue stained couch?

Mars placed an ad on Craigslist selling the couch for $500. The ad stated a gently used slightly stained couch. However, the picture tells a different story. The couch depicted in the ad looks like it starred in “Bukkake, The Musical”. Harvey Weinstein would be jealous. 

Motley Crue Stained Couch

At the end of the 1985 tour, Mars immediately wrapped the couch in plastic slip covers. The couch, adorned with countless mysterious stains, tells the tales of rock ‘n’ roll debauchery and wild nights spent with the Crüe. It’s like a time capsule of excess and mayhem, all neatly wrapped in plastic.

The 30 something year old stains got DNA companies, fans and collectors drooling at the thought of owning a unique piece of Rock n Roll history. A bidding war started that included Ed Sheeran, 23andMe, John Mayer and even Crue drummer Tommy Lee. At last count, the bidding was up to $50,000. 

DNA

Crue fan, Richard Edgington is willing to sell his house and liquidate all his assets to buy the couch. “I will sell my wife if I have to but I need that couch. Crue is my favorite and who knows whose DNA is within those stains. Maybe the DNA belongs to Heather Locklear, Pam Anderson, Razzle, Appolonia, Cameron Diaz, or Shannen Doherty. Not to mention Tommy, Nikki, Vince and Mick’s DNA is all over that couch. Maybe I can clone them and start like a Jurassic Park for Motley Crue.”

Mars was thrown out of the band recently and is now liquidating all his Crue memorabilia. “I hate those guys” said Mars. “Those guys make me sick and I don’t want anything around that reminds me of those fools. Plus I need the money. Besides the couch, I have a bottle of Tommy’s vomit, Vince’s stained underpants and Nikki’s bowel movement. You too can own a piece of rock n roll history.”

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