Babylon Bee  


Americans Unanimously Agree To Vote For Whichever Candidate Stops Sending Them Campaign Donation Text Messages

PHILADELPHIA, PA — Americans on both sides of the political have finally united under a single issue ...View More

'Maybe We Took A Wrong Turn Somewhere,' Thinks Party Whose Candidate Just Got Endorsed By Dick Cheney And Vladimir Putin

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Insiders within the party that just had its candidate be endorsed by Vladimir Put ...View More

Kamala Quietly Asks Aides If She Should Just Try Sleeping With The Economy

U.S. — Vice President Kamala Harris was seen by several witnesses this week ask aides if maybe she s ...View More

Kamala Responds To Criticism Over Lack Of Policies By Posting Another Truck Stop Junk Food Video

GARY, IN — In a brilliant, politically savvy response to critics accusing her of not having any poli ...View More

The Babylon Bee Has Finally Obtained The Harris-Walz Secret List Of Policies

Kamala Harris has been very secretive about her policies — in fact, no one really knows if she even  ...View More

Husband Grabs His Good Baseball Cap For Date Night

KANSAS CITY, MO — Knowing how much his wife liked it when he dressed up to go out, local husband and ...View More

Heaven Confirms God Keeps List Of People Who Leave Church Early To Watch Football Games

ETERNAL GLORY — Confirming fears long-held by Christian sports fans, an announcement from Heaven con ...View More

Man Reaches Age Where He's Starting To Worry He Might Never Own A Panzer Tank

FORT WAYNE, TX — Local man Dave Mulligan celebrated his 43rd birthday this week with the sad realiza ...View More

Trump Prepares For Debate Against Kamala By Going To Bar And Arguing With Drunks

ORLANDO, FL — Sources close to Republican presidential candidate Donald J. Trump report that the for ...View More

Hamas Excited To Learn Killing Israelis Somehow Makes Biden Condemn Israel

GAZA — After news broke over the weekend that the bodies of several executed hostages were recently  ...View More

FBI Says They Were Just About To Get The School Shooter But They Had To Take Care Of A Few Dangerous Pro-Life Protestors First

ARLINGTON, VA — Official FBI sources recently stepped forward to apologize for the Bureau's tardines ...View More

Grizzled Veteran Comes Out Of Retirement For One Last Russian Collusion Hoax

U.S. — A Sikorsky UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter touched down just outside the residence of Bill and Hi ...View More

9 Best Reasons To Go Make A Baby RIGHT NOW

Brought to you by: ProLife Across AmericaDon't try to deny it -- you've been sitting there all day w ...View More

Tim Walz’s Dog Endorses Trump

ST. PAUL, MN — In a stunning development today, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz's dog "Scout" has officially ...View More

9 Signs You Were The Bad Guy In World War II

History is a complicated subject and, as such, it's difficult to say who the true "bad guy" of World ...View More

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