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Daily Wire Hoping 'Am I Racist?' Movie Earns Enough Money To Afford A Better Wig For Matt Walsh

NASHVILLE — According to sources, Daily Wire CEO Jeremy Boreing is watching the incoming box office  ...View More

‘A Fetus Should Not Be Treated Like A Human,’ Says Woman With Cat Named Dave That Wears A Sweater

BRENTWOOD, CA — Local woman Tara Maeser told friends she couldn't believe some people consider a fet ...View More

Uh-Oh: Mary Shows Up In Pope Francis’s Toast And She Looks Maaaaad

VATICAN CITY — Papal sources have just confirmed that the Virgin Mary miraculously appeared on Pope  ...View More

10 Breakfast Cereals That Sound Like Mormons Swearing After Stepping On A Lego

Everyone knows a few stereotypical things about Mormons — no caffeine, no alcohol, etc. What many pe ...View More

RFK Jr. Really Really Hoping Nobody Asks Him Point Blank If He’s Ever Eaten A Cat

U.S. — A source close to former presidential candidate and current Trump supporter Robert F. Kenney  ...View More

Taylor Swift's Cats Endorse Trump

NASHVILLE, TN — Hot on the heels of their global superstar owner's public announcement that she was  ...View More

Op-Ed: Trump Brazenly Lied, Claiming That Kamala Supports — Oh Wait It’s True? Here’s Why It’s Essential For Democracy

My fellow citizens — now that we've gotten the preliminaries out of the way, it's time to address th ...View More

Democrats Concerned California Wildfires May Burn Up Their Stock Of Prefilled Kamala Harris Ballots

LOS ANGELOS, CA — As the wildfires in California intensify, Democrat politicians across the state ha ...View More

In Brief Moment Of Lucidity, Biden Endorses Trump

SHANKSVILLE, PA — The day-to-day grind of the presidential campaign trail was turned upside down tod ...View More

Man Getting That Sinking Feeling Wife Comparing Him To Boaz Again

LOUISVILLE, KY — Local husband Brandon Wilson was struck by the dark hand of despair today as he onc ...View More

The Bee Fact Checks Last Night's Debate

Moderators David Muir and Linsey Davis tried to graciously provide viewers with real-time fact check ...View More

Solomon Disappointed As Wife Saying 'Come, Taste My Choice Fruits' Actually Meant Apples From Garden

ISRAEL — King Solomon was deeply disappointed this evening as his wife's enticing offer to come tast ...View More

Media Assures Americans That Migrants Haven’t Killed Any Cats, Just Women And Children

U.S. — In response to viral allegations that Haitian immigrants in Ohio are killing and eating cats, ...View More

Democrats To Replace Kamala On Ballot With ABC Moderators

U.S. — Following last night's debate in which David Muir and Linsey Davis employed an impressive str ...View More

Trump Jumps 30 Points In The Polls After Telling Kamala Harris To Be Quiet

PHILADELPHIA — Donald Trump appears to have clinched victory in the 2024 presidential race after tel ...View More

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