There are some phrases that you just never want to hear in life, like "We've got the test results and you better sit down", "Joe Biden is getting ready to take the oath of office for his second term," or "Give me your eyeball."  

Eyeballs aren't generally given away, even when a "pretty please" is appended to the end of that demand, and I can only imagine the terror a Kentucky man felt when a stranger yelled that at him while trying to get the keys to his car. 

Instead of getting his wish, however, the attempted carjacker ended up getting a couple of rounds from the armed citizen's sidearm, and now he's facing a number of criminal charges for his actions in Louisville, Kentucky Thursday morning. 

Jason Calhoun is facing four charges including attempted murder, strangulation, and robbery after an altercation that resulted in him suffering gunshot wounds in his car, which was in a ditch on Outer Loop.

Officers initially found Calhoun when responding to a call of an injury accident, where they found him in his car having been shot. There was another call of a possible carjacking on I-65 at Outer Loop.

Through an investigation, officers determined the two calls were related. The victim from I-65 told police his car had broken down and he had left and returned in his wife’s vehicle. That’s when the victim saw Calhoun walking behind his vehicle and, while the victim was sitting in the driver’s seat of the broken down vehicle, the victim said Calhoun opened the door and made demands for the vehicle, an arrest report said.

The victim had a gun in his disabled vehicle tucked between the driver's door and the center console, and when Calhoun spotted the pistol the two men began fighting for control of the gun. That's when Calhoun went for the armed citizen's aforementioned eyeball. 

The victim told officers that Calhoun said “give me your eyeball” and began grabbing at his eye, hooking his finger and sticking into the left eye socket in attempt to remove the eye.

The arrest report said that after the victim was able to fight Calhoun off, Calhoun put him in a headlock and began to choke him. 

The victim told police that, fearing for his life, he got control of the gun and fired multiple shots at Calhoun and was able to exit the vehicle.

There's no word on the extent of the victim's injuries, but presumably he was able to extricate himself from Calhoun's assault with both of his eyeballs intact. 

As you might have guessed, Louisville Metro police have not charged the armed citizen with any crime. This is such an obvious case of self-defense that I can't imagine even the most ardent anti-gun activist complaining too much about the outcome here. 

I mean, what could they say? "Well, why didn't you just cooperate and give him your eyeball? You have two after all." 

No, this will be one of those incidents that the gun control lobby chooses to ignore. It's not like they can admit a gun might be a handy tool to have when someone's trying to gouge out your eyeball. Better (for them anyway) to just pretend this never happened. 

For the rest of us, let this be a reminder that danger can strike at any time. This poor guy just wanted to deal with his broken-down car, and instead ended up fighting for his life (and eyesight) on the side of a busy freeway. Sure, it might have been wiser to take the gun out of his car before he left the vehicle unattended, but at least he was able to get to it before he had his eyeball popped out by a violent carjacker. The outcome could have been far worse if the armed citizen had left his gun at home on Thursday morning. Thankfully, when Calhoun allegedly went for the man's eye, he was able to go for his gun; saving his life and his eyeballs from serious harm.