This article was originally published on DailySkrape. You can read the original article HERE
Following an unsuccessful assassination attempt several weeks ago, Donald J. Trump has debuted the new robotic exoskeleton he will wear for all future speeches, sources confirmed earlier today.
“This is the best armor money can buy, the absolute best,” said Trump, speaking before a crowd in Grand Rapids, Michigan. “Dressing from head to toe in bulletproof alloys may seem extreme to some people, but need I remind you: I was literally shot in the head a few speeches ago. I did everything right and they shot me!”
Trump supporters seemed largely sympathetic to his new wardrobe of preference.
“Nope, I don’t blame him one bit,” said local Trump voter Randall Weatherspoon. “Not only is it smart and safe, but he looks cooler than ever up there. And the part where he let us all open fire on him to prove how effective the suit is? What a hoot! I’ve never had more fun at one of these in my life.”
As of press time, Trump’s speech was abruptly cut short after it started to lightly rain.
This article was originally published by DailySkrape. We only curate news from sources that align with the core values of our intended conservative audience. If you like the news you read here we encourage you to utilize the original sources for even more great news and opinions you can trust!
Comments