Commentary/Satire by Bill the Butcher

In Luke 17:20–21, Jesus says, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you”

Each morning, I rise before anyone else in my house. I make coffee, go to the bathroom, then to the back porch where I light a forbidden cigarette, and consider life with all its applications. I try to ignore the trials and tribulations of the previous day but unfortunately I frequently find that they all lived through the night and lie sleeping in the house. Some over the years did not make the cut and as the old adage says, “I never killed a man but have read many obituaries with enthusiasm!” While you can move away from some things, others will simply not go away, and you must wrestle with them if you ever hope for a second cup of coffee. Some you resolve to reason with which renders various levels of success while there are others where simply a whack on the appropriate head with a rusty piece of farm machinery would suffice. However, in a world where even addressing someone by the wrong pronoun might lead to Empirical implications a carefully crafted approach would be prudent.

Looking for answers can consume most of your time, especially if you are asking the same questions day in, day out. Think about it. From dawn till dusk most everything you do is an effort to just get from dawn to dusk and if you make it, you’ll judge the next day by the same problems that you didn’t resolve the day before. (Farm machinery anyone?) All the while you’re reading a Bible, or any number of sources of ancient wisdom, talking with people who are asking the same questions and giving you their theories, or Googling this or that for articles penned by some guy with an iPhone, sitting in the basement of his parent’s house in his underwear. That would be your spiritual leader. And you will ignore your best source of information. You!

While meaningful dialog is important, one should bring a salt shaker to such meetings because if you are dependent upon others for the direction of your life never forget that they, too, got their direction from someone who, like them . . . well, I could go on indefinitely. Chicken or the egg debate.

But, in the quiet of the morning with none of these interruptions to cloud your mind there is a small inner voice that takes the floor. And it doesn’t address problems per sae, but rather the emotional impact that they collectively have on you. When you first start doing this you will look for specific answers to specific problems. Perhaps come up with some snappy thing to say which you resolve to use at the opportune moment when you will spring it on the problem child who caused you to search for this answer in the first place. Verily Verily I say unto thee: That’s like waiting for a particular deer to wander beneath a particular deer stand on a particular day at a particular time. Just shoot a rabbit and have a beer.

This is why buying one hundred percent into any pre-printed life plan is ludicrous. Be it some self-help quagmire or The Book of Mormon. One size does not fit all. Actually, one size does not fit AT all because, like snowflakes, each person is different. If you try to do that eventually just keeping up with all the rules and sub-rules becomes so complicated that beer becomes a viable alternative. A woman told me just today that you can’t go to heaven unless you obey all the rules. First, I don’t know all the rules and why would I want to be stuck for eternity with someone who did. I’ve also been told that there is a spirit world where the spirits therein DO know and will grant you anything you ask for. Therefore I ask for Taylor Swift every night. I’ll just leave that right there.

Largely ignore outside voices but not the inner voice because that is fitted specifically for you! And it isn’t there to share. Odd that I should say that, isn’t it. I mean, here I am writing an article about how to find answers and I just told you not to listen to me. Well, in a way, yes. Don’t do as I say, do as I do. God is within you. Pray to yourself. Of course, talk with friends. Just don’t let their shouts drown out that inner whisper. And don’t rely on family for advice! They owe you money fool!

If you consistently seek your own council you will develop a philosophy. That’s YOUR philosophy, no one else’s! That philosophy makes your journey from dawn to dusk smoother, and your nights more peaceful. With or without Taylor Swift. Imagine a world where most people do this. Eventually your inner voice will become louder. You will not be bothered by the drone of the crowd because you have a saltshaker. Use it sparingly.

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