After working at a McDonald’s briefly last week as part of his presidential campaign, Donald Trump has reportedly been promoted to assistant manager of the fast food chain, after showing up on time and fulfilling the basic requirements of the job, sources confirmed. 

“Best new hire I’ve had in years,” said McDonald’s manager Dwayne Ross. “I get mostly kids who have never worked a day in their lives before and can’t handle being off their phones long enough to make a Big Mac, let alone work an entire shift. But Trump did great, he took direction, got all his orders finished, and hell, the customers were excited to see him. Sounds like manager material to me.” 

Despite being tempted to take the position, Trump begrudgingly had to pass. 

“I’m just too busy,” said Trump from the final weeks of the campaign trail, as he travels to several key swing states. “But I would love to maybe do a breakfast shift here and there if they’ll let me. I had so much fun working with common people the other day, and frankly, I prefer them to the idiots I’m about to be spending my days in Washington with. You haven’t seen the last of me, McDonald’s!” 

As of press time, Trump concluded his most recent speech with a promise to finally bring the Hamburglar to justice.