On Friday, President Biden made his first appearance in the White House Briefing Room with only three and a half months left in office after years of calls from reporters across the political spectrum.

Sure, he only took questions for just over eight minutes, but the press corps made sure to throw this unique opportunity away with a combination of open-ended foreign policy queries and softballs, including one from taxpayer-funded NPR dialing up the fear porn about post-election violence.

Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre picked the reporters herself, so that was the first indication this would be a joke.

The Associated Press’s Josh Boak went first because that’s how these things go (or risk serious hissy fits, like Sean Spicer learned) and put this pathetic question on the tee for Ol’ Joe: “Florida Senator Marco Rubio described today's jobs report as having fake numbers. What do you make of that and how worried are you that many Americans are hearing that the jobs numbers aren't real?”

Biden repeatedly quipped about how he had to choose words carefully (or he’d presumably get in trouble), but said the jobs numbers are “real” and “sincere” and also par for the course for “MAGA Republicans” calling “anything…they don’t like…fake.”

Boak’s second question was about Iran and left Biden refusing to commit to anything: “[C]ould you clarify some of your comments yesterday with regard to strikes on Iranian oil facilities. What did you mean by them given some of the reactions we're seeing in the market?”

CBS’s Weijia Jiang went next and invited him to tee off on Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu over the increasingly growing conspiracy theories that he’s interfering in the U.S. presidential election (for Donald Trump):

CBS’s @Weijia Jiang: “This week, Senator Chris Murphy said it's certainly a possibility that the Israeli government is not going to sign any diplomatic agreement prior to the election, which is what you have been calling for – for so long, potentially to try to influence the… pic.twitter.com/y3V1DBsW8o

— Curtis Houck (@CurtisHouck) October 4, 2024

ABC’s Selina Wang followed up:

ABC’s Selina Wang: “What are you advising the Israelis to do in terms of their retaliation to Iran and, at this point, you still haven't spoken to Netanyahu. Is it fair to say that you have little personal influence over what he decides to do?”

President Biden: “No. Look, our –… pic.twitter.com/c7QGNtwvlj

— Curtis Houck (@CurtisHouck) October 4, 2024

Wang’s second question was even more of a lament: “But over the past few months they've consistently defied your administration's own advice, so do you believe that the Israelis are going to listen to the advice you're giving them?”

After a third Wang question wondering how “should [Israel] respond,” NPR’s Tamara Keith stepped up to the plate and, instead of asking about those affected by Hurricane Helene, the hundreds dead, and the growing uproar surrounding the federal response, she wondered about election legitimacy and post-election violence:

NPR’s Tamara Keith: “The election is a month away. One, I'd like to know how you're feeling about how this election is going? And then, also, do you have confidence that it will be a free and fair election, and then it will be peaceful?”

President Biden: “Two separate… pic.twitter.com/LmlBsQmUo2

— Curtis Houck (@CurtisHouck) October 4, 2024

Keith doubled down on the MSNBC-speak: “Are you making any preparations, getting security briefings related to domestic security?”

Biden shot back that he “always[s] gets those briefings.”

Bloomberg’s Akayala Gardner predictably had two economy-related questions, with one on possible Iranian oil sanctions and the other on the temporarily suspension of a dock worker strike on the east coast.

AFP’s Danny Kemp had another Middle East question. This time, it was an acknowledgment that the region seems to be “pretty close to that definition” of “all-out war” and if there’s truly anything he could “really do to stop that”.

Amid more shouting from reporters, Jean-Pierre picked The Washington Post’s Toluse Olorunnipa to come up clutch with one final softball:

Washington Post’s @ToluseO: “There have obviously been a number of crises that the country has been facing over the past several days with the hurricane, with the port strike, with the situation in the Middle East. Can you talk about how your Vice President, who is running for… pic.twitter.com/YQL9WwLn3U

— Curtis Houck (@CurtisHouck) October 4, 2024

Jean-Pierre tried to wrap things up, but amid a torrent of reporters shouting, she tried to call on Reuters’s Nandita Bose, but EWTN’s Owen Jensen caught Biden’s attention by asking for comment about Pope Francis’s call for a day of prayer and fasting on Monday to mark one year since Hamas’s terror attacks on Israel.

Once Biden said, he would follow suit, the shouting resumed and he left the room to much rejoicing and chuckling (click “expand”):

JEAN-PIERRE: Alright, guys, that's it. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, Mr. President. Thank you, sir. Thank you.

[REPORTERS SHOUTING]

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: On Ukraine, any decision on long range weapons?

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: Do you want to reconsider dropping out of the race?

BIDEN: I’m back in!

[REPORTERS LAUGH]

JACQUI HEINRICH: What made you want to come here today, Mr. President?

JEAN-PIERRE: All right, everybody.

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: Thank you, Mr. President!

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: Thank you, Karine.

UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: Can we do that again?

JEAN-PIERRE: No.

[REPORTERS LAUGH]

How incestuous.

To see the relevant transcript from the October 4 briefing, click here.