Note: This is a satirical piece.

“It is not enough to simply beat Trump. He must be destroyed thoroughly. His kind must not rise again.” David Plouffe, Obama’s and now Kamala Harris’ Senior Adviser.

Just a reminder to Democrats: It is almost Halloween. Time flies, so keep in mind there are only 20 assassination attempt weekend days left until Christmas. 

We still have not heard much of anything from the feds on the first attempt. The slowly evolving investigation into the obvious failures or willful negligence of the DEI-laced Secret Service on the Crooks attempt was followed by another attempt Sunday. 

The federal government supposedly will investigate itself and get back to us. It is good that Governor DeSantis says Florida will conduct its own investigation. Trust of the federal government ranks right up there with trusting a pill P-Diddy hands you at his Hamptons “White Party.”

We will get a white-washed report from our agencies that investigate themselves. We still do not have the Warren Commission findings on Lee Harvey Oswald’s shooting of JFK, nor the Epstein Island attendee list. 

We are now left wondering if the government can be trusted to protect Trump. I know why Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. used Black Muslims to protect him in D.C. during speeches. Trump might want to see what Kyle Rittenhouse and Chuck Norris are up to.

For all this, Trump points to the vitriolic rhetoric of the left and lawfare of the Deep State. The DOJ and the Dems blame Trump for inciting the latest assassination attempt by not dying after the first one. 

Years of brainwashing people by calling him “a threat to democracy,” etc. sink in. Routh and Crooks get a steady diet of news bytes about this “Hitler,” Trump; what is to be expected? 

Not to be outdone, Kamala Harris had a harrowing weekend herself. During a local ABC affiliate Eye-Ball News interview in Philadelphia, she narrowly escaped having to answer a direct question. Her spokesperson assured her adoring media that she was expected to make a speedy recovery by Nov. 7th, and they were looking into how this question was allowed to be asked.

The most hypocritical thing in the wake of the shooting is how the left-wing media and politicians act sanctimonious about how we need to “tone down our language.” This from the people who called Trump “Hitler” for years.

And if you vilify someone as Hitler, a man who killed 6 million Jews in the Holocaust and caused the deaths of 73 million more people who fought him in World War II, it is not a big moral leap to think that someone killing him would be justified. It’s louder than a dog whistle; it’s a call to action. Kooks like Crooks and this roofer from Hawaii, Ryan Routh, are easy to program if they think they are “saving democracy.” 

You can tell how much the left hates and fears Trump by how one-sided the ABC debate was. In the aftermath the poll numbers did not change for Kamala. She only picked up two votes: Taylor Swift and her cat. It was so disappointing when the debate did not move the needle for Kamala that David Muir challenged Trump to another debate.

The vitriol toward Trump reminds me of a quote attributed to Henry II of England preceding the death of the Archbishop of Canterbury, a bitter adversary. Henry II demanded of his knights weeks before the Archbishop was killed, “Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?” 

Dems will keep trying to get rid of this, as Henry II said of the annoying Archbishop of Canterbury, “troublesome priest.” The James-Bond-like ladies’ man, Donald Trump, must go away. And what is the Dems only way to make a ladies’ man like Trump go away, never to be heard from again? A one-night stand.

Even with all his attempts to ruin Trump’s life, Jack Smith, the DOJ Gestapo surrogate, says he will not stop prosecuting Trump. He’s likely to re-indict Trump on obstruction of justice because Trump knowingly and with forethought moved his head in Butler, Pennsylvania. 

Yet the CIA, FBI, DOJ and DHS feel bad about all this and plan to make it up to Trump. They have all chipped in and bought him a pager. 

Ron Hart is a libertarian op-ed humorist, an award-winning author, and a frequent guest on TV and radio. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.

The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of the Daily Caller.