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NOOOOOOOOO! The Hill Wants Us All to Know What Hillary Calls Her 'Postmenopausal Midsection'

NOOOOOOOOO! The Hill Wants Us All to Know What Hillary Calls Her 'Postmenopausal Midsection'
By: Twitchy - Media Posted On: September 18, 2024 View: 7

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This article was originally published on Twitchy - Media. You can read the original article HERE

It's no secret that The Hill as a publication is completely in the tank for Democrats. There is no puff piece on a prominent Democrat that they will not publish. They're like People magazine for leftist politicians. 

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Even with that understanding, though, there are times when we run across a Hill story on Twitter and we can only ask one question: 

'But why?' 

That was the case yesterday when, in trying to help Hillary Clinton promote her new book (that she won't let anyone on Twitter tell her about), The Hill decided that it was important for American voters to know that Clinton has a nickname for her belly. 

No, we are not joking and yes, we wish to God that we were. 

Excuse us while we retch for a few minutes. 

This is one of those times we have to apologize to readers for sharing something that no human eye should ever be subjected to. But it traumatized us, so we wanted to share the pain: 

In 'Something Lost, Something Gained,' Clinton divulges everything from the nickname she coined for her “postmenopausal” stomach, to how a lunch with Michelle Obama left her hungry to why she’s embraced being dubbed 'Big Girl' by her staff.

Clinton, 76, said she decided to borrow an idea that comedian Wanda Sykes gave her: to bestow a name on her 'newly thick midsection.'

'I now call mine Beulah,' Clinton wrote. The former first lady described Beulah — and her friend’s stomach, Bertha — as 'stubborn old gals.' The pair decided, she said, 'if the two of them won’t go away, we might as well get on speaking terms with them.'

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Beulah? BEULAH? Where is Ben Stein when we need him? 


OK, we now have to go throw up some more, so we're going to let Twitter take over for a little bit.

You can say that again. Why? Why is this something anyone needs to know? Why is this in Clinton's book? Why did The Hill want to make sure we all knew this was in Clinton's book? 

Maybe most importantly, why didn't she name it 'Kuato'? 


Sorry, we couldn't resist. 

LOL. Sometimes we love Holy Briden and sometimes -- for the exact same reasons -- we hate her.

We don't think you have anything to worry about there. The mental image of Clinton's midsection -- especially with a name of its own -- will never be associated with the words 'cute' or 'likable.'

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Pure, unadulterated narcissism. That's what it takes to believe the public wants to know things like this about you. 

She really needs to just go away. Live out her life and loveless marriage on an island somewhere where no one has to hear from her ever again. 

Then again, the more she talks, it's probably a good thing for Trump's chances in the election. 

HA. It's a genuine possibility. 

Just remember to blot. Don't rub. That will only make it worse. 

We're going to let you Google that acronym, Twitchy readers. 

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OOF. 

OK, that was a damn good joke right there. 

She couldn't have named it that or else Bill Clinton would be attracted to it. 

[Spit laugh.]

Sorry, horse. We regret that you had to see this. 

You weren't alone in that sentiment. 

Stay with us, everyone. We will get over this trauma together. 

It's a crime against humanity is what it is. 

That lunch probably didn't taste as good coming back up. 

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It's seared into our retinas even if they did delete it. 

We hate The Hill more than ever now. 

See? That's what we said. 

Oh, please God, do NOT show this to Donald Trump. 

Don't get us wrong. He would have some extremely hilarious things to say about it. His reaction even might make for a great Twitchy article. 

But Trump needs to stay focused. He's got an election to win. And if he saw this, he might riff on it for days. Weeks, even. 

We couldn't even really blame him. It's just that mockable. 

But for the sake of America, can we all promise not to let Trump know about Hillary's friend 'Beulah'?

This article was originally published by Twitchy - Media. We only curate news from sources that align with the core values of our intended conservative audience. If you like the news you read here we encourage you to utilize the original sources for even more great news and opinions you can trust!

Read Original Article HERE

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