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Baby Patiently Waiting Until Fully Strapped In Car Seat To Unleash Diaper Apocalypse

RUIDOSO, NM — Local baby Oliver Daniels patiently waited to be completely strapped in his car seat b ...View More

King Solomon Dies Of Old Age Waiting For 700 Wives To Decide On Restaurant

JERUSALEM — Sad news emerged from the royal palace today, as it was announced that King Solomon had  ...View More

American Flag Defended By Frat Boy Heroes Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, And Dylan

CHAPEL HILL, NC — The American flag was defended from crazed protesters by a group of University of  ...View More

9 Highly Effective Ways To Remove Protesters From Your Campus

If you're part of the administration of a major university, what you've seen on the news may have yo ...View More

UCLA Replaces Student IDs With New Fashionable Identifying Armbands

LOS ANGELES, CA — In a new initiative to streamline the school's identification process, UCLA announ ...View More

'I Like Coldplay,' Man Says In Powerful Coming Out Speech

KANSAS CITY, MO — Local man Dave Barrett let friends and family know he was totally gay by announcin ...View More

Man Introduces Himself To Next-Door Neighbors Who Just Recently Moved In 9 Years Ago

CHINO, CA — Residents of a local neighborhood grew more closely knit this week, as a man introduced  ...View More

10 Essential Life Skills Your Kid Will Learn At An Ivy League University

Brought to you by: PraxisIvy Leagues have been making the headlines lately, but what can students ac ...View More

Report: You've Gone Weeks Without Having The 1-877-KARS-4-KIDS Jingle Stuck In Your Head. Great Job. Keep It Up!

U.S. — According to sources, you have now gone several weeks without that delightful jingle from the ...View More

To Avoid Falling, Biden To Traverse Lawn In Giant Hamster Ball

WASHINGTON, DC - In an ongoing effort to keep the President from running into stationary objects, Wh ...View More

Kristi Noem Clarifies Killing Puppies Makes Up Only 3% Of What She Does

PIERRE, SD — After detailing in a newly released book how she shot a puppy that was too hard to trai ...View More

'I'm Sorry I Have To Do This,' Says Kristi Noem Pumping Shotgun After Puppy Playfully Barks At Mailman

PIERRE, SD — After Governor Kristi Noem caught her puppy playfully barking at the mailman today, she ...View More

After Learning She Killed Her Puppy, Dr. Fauci Endorses Kristi Noem

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Dr. Anthony Fauci has come out as a major supporter of Governor Kristi Noem after ...View More

Ilhan Omar Paraglides Into Columbia Campus To Lead Protests

NEW YORK, NY — In a dramatic entrance that left onlookers both baffled and concerned for their immed ...View More

8 Handy Tricks Women Can Use To Beat Trans Athletes

It's the dawn of a new era in women's athletics, as they are now open to dudes! While the playing fi ...View More

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