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Trump Forced To Wear Hannibal Lecter Muzzle For Gag Order Violations

NEW YORK — Donald Trump was held in contempt of court Monday during his hush money trial for a recor ...View More

Man Reaches Age Where He Carefully Checks ABV% On Every Beer He Drinks

SAN DIEGO, CA — According to sources, local man Kyle Brannigan has now reached the age where he care ...View More

Disney World Announces New 'The Chosen' Roller Coaster Which Goes Underground For 3 Days Before Rising Again

ORLANDO, FL — Walt Disney World has unveiled plans for its new The Chosen roller coaster, which will ...View More

Ivy League Grads Slip Below County Fair Carnies On Forbes List Of Most Desirable Employee Candidates

U.S. — Forbes has released its newest list of "Most Desirable Employee Candidates", which saw Ivy Le ...View More

Trump’s Finger Hovers Over ‘Send’ Button As He Ponders Whether Sick Burn Worth Another $10,000

MANHATTAN, NY — After coming up with a devastating burn about the prosecutor's mom, former President ...View More

New York DA Indicts Trump For Bringing Firefighters Pizza But No Salad Or Cheesy Bread

NEW YORK — Former President Donald Trump has been indicted by the New York District Attorney for all ...View More

People Blocking Students From College Based On Race Probably On Right Side Of History Again

U.S. — Groundbreaking, surprising new research suggests that people who block students from higher e ...View More

9 Changes Disney Is Bringing To 'The Chosen'

The official announcement that the popular biblical drama The Chosen will begin streaming on Disney+ ...View More

Mark Hamill Joins Death Star Press Conference To Say What A Good Job He Thinks The Emperor Is Doing

DEATH STAR — Viewers of the Imperial News Network were stunned today, as Mark Hamill joined a Death  ...View More

10 Ways To Beat The Fascist Police Coming To Arrest You For Supporting Palestine

The fascist police state is coming to arrest you for supporting Palestine and for no other reason th ...View More

Doctor Reminds You To Arrive Early So You Can Wait Even Longer

U.S. — In a helpful message regarding your upcoming appointment, your doctor has reminded you to be  ...View More

Congressional Democrats Demand $40 Billion For UCLA Protest Border Security

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A legislative stalemate appeared to be brewing on Capitol Hill as congressional D ...View More

Immigration Crisis Ended As Frat Boys Deployed To Guard Southern Border

UNITED STATES — The immigration crisis appears to be finally over after the Department of Homeland S ...View More

Doctor Points On MRI To Part Of Man's Brain Where 'Seinfeld' Bass Riff Has Been Playing For Over Two Decades

GRANDVIEW, MO — A patient's lingering questions were finally answered today, as a doctor pointed out ...View More

9 Reasonable Demands From Students Occupying Campus Buildings

Brought to you by: My Patriot SupplyMuch has been made about the student protesters occupying spaces ...View More

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