Jimmy Buffett’s longtime backing group, the Coral Reefer Band, revealed recently that they plan to “keep the party going,” in accordance with the late musician’s wishes. Then in a shocking turn of events it was announced today that Axl Rose will be replacing Jimmy Buffett in the band. 

A Coral Reefer Band spokesperson stated, “It’s like when The Jimi Hendrix Experience continued on without him. Or when Tom Petty’s backing band continued on without him. Just because the main singer, songwriter, personality and namesake of a band dies, does not mean that they have to stop touring. There is a lot of money left to be made. I mean, that’s what Jimmy would have wanted.” 

Axl Rose & Jimmy Buffett

At this time Fans worldwide are scratching their heads, wondering if this collaboration marks the end of civilization. Is Axl Rose, of Guns N’ Roses fame, known for his piercing screams, snake dancing and violent outbursts, now ready to trade in his aggression for, well, coconuts and flip-flops. In addition what does this mean for the laid-back island vibe of the Coral Reefer Band? We’re about to find out!

During today’s press conference, Axl showed up sporting an Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, and flip-flops. After the announcement, Axl and The Coral Reefer Band played a song together. It was a reworking of two Guns N Roses and Buffett classics called, “Cheeseburger in Paradise City”. 

Parrot Heads

Unfortunately halfway through the song, Axl jumped into the crowd and punched a Buffett fan in the face. “He was making stupid hand gestures at me” said Axl. “He deserved a punch in the face.” It was later explained to Axl that Jimmy’s fan base is known as Parrot heads. Parrot heads often communicate with other Parrot heads by putting the flat side of their hand on top of their head making a kind of shark fin and saying, “Fins Up.”  Axl replied, “Oh that has to stop. This nonsense is not going to fly with the Guns N Roses fans that show up. A lot of Parrot heads are going to get beat up.”

Other singers were also considered by the band to replace Buffett. All in all, John Mayer, Lizzo, John Lydon and many others were auditioned. The new Coral Reefer Band plan on touring in the summer and to record an album of new and reworked songs. Axl gushed that he has a great idea to combine “I Used To Love Her” and “Margaritaville”. It’s going to be Epic.

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