Commentary/Satire by Bill the Butcher

What will be different on the morning of November 6, 2024? America has been on a roller coaster ride since January 6, 2021. That January wasn’t the first time Washington has been under attack. On August 24, 1814 the British fired up the White House and General Patton himself chased veterans of the First World War off the grounds on July 28, 1932. Not to mention that during the Civil War the Confederate Army was “just over yonder” from Lincoln’s bedroom. So, what’s all the worry about the upcoming election?

Both parties have the same playbill. Should they suffer defeat it will be the end of the country. Doomsday politics rules the day, and the Fake News Network makes the most of it. If you ask either party Donald Trump is the Antichrist and Kamala Harris is the Whore of Babylon. Between the far left and the far right the stuck in the middles will ultimately call the game. And what will happen that morning?

Well, before I prophecize I need to clarify my position here. I work with The Liberty Beacon. I’m not exactly non-binary. In fact, with six marriages and God knows how many encounters and near Misses under my belt (No, that’s not a typo) I’m about the most binding person you’ve ever met and I’m straighter than Mother Superior’s yardstick. I totally support Donald Trump and wouldn’t have paid Stormy Daniels for her favors. I’d have left her passed out at a Motel 6 and stuck her with the bill. And my opinion of Cumala Harris is lower than that! There! I support Trump because he is what we need. Has he made mistakes? Did George Washington show up at get togethers with girlfriends because nobody knew what Martha looked like? Now that we’ve gotten that crap out of the way let us continue the lecture. Ya’ll can let the kids back in now.

In days gone by, it would just be over. Wednesday everyone would return to their daily lives. There would be no talk of impeachment of the winner even before the inauguration. No idiots busting out windows in the Capitol as the Electoral results are counted, or fat whores on their knees screaming, “No!” during the inauguration. Just back to business as usual which is the same as it was six months before the election.

There is a vast difference between campaigning and can doing. All candidates talk crap. A chicken in every pot became a fetus for democrats and a rallying cry for right to life republicans. But it’s all money, marbles and chalk! Common sense prevails when the votes are counted. Build a wall? Sure. Who’s gonna mow your grass? How do you like that $5.00 a head for lettuce? The Mexicans wouldn’t be selling so much dope if we weren’t smoking it. Clean up your own back yard. Get that beam out of your eye!

If the incumbent isn’t re-elected a transition team would form to find the best places to eat and the winner would try to look “presidential.” Mainly there would be a smooth transition of power. Ain’t that America? And from there it would be the same old same old. These days the networks, tasked with ever increasing doomsday prophecies must add wood to the fire to make their quota and letting go of a jewel such as a presidential election between a tycoon and a tramp is just too good to let go. Midterms are just around the corner and if Jesus doesn’t come back soon the Devil certainly will.

What will change? Nothing! Oh, there’ll be indictments and excitements. Old girlfriends will pop up here and there. That would be after a Trump win. A Harris win will give us a wealth of double talk. She doesn’t pay her former boyfriends. Perhaps a new virus will come on the market and we can all mask up again. But the bottom line is it will not be the end of the country. The country ended a long time ago but nobody told you. .

So, who’ll stop the rain? Look at the main drive for conservatives. Go back to the Constitution. Liberals do not want that. Without Kamala Harris’s sweet talk, free money, a gay Statue of Liberty and citizenship for dogs will go out the window and the Dummycrats know it! Can we fix it all in four years? You know we can’t. This shadow government didn’t start yesterday and it won’t go away tomorrow. Did you ever stop to think those protesters on January 6 were sending us a message? But Wilbur, they broke the law. Yeah. They dumped tea in the Potomac! And you just want sugar in your tea.

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