Representatives for Kamala Harris confirmed a popular theory today, that she is pursuing the highest office in the land not for the desire to lead, but to dodge any sort of job interview. 

“Look, this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anybody,” said Julie Chávez Rodríguez, Kamala Harris’ campaign manager. “She is a strong woman who stands up for what she believes in. And what she believes in more than anything is avoiding any situation that may be interpreted as an interview at all costs, lest she be caught off-guard and forced to speak off the cuff without a chance to prepare remarks beforehand.”

Supporters of Harris said that while they supported her, they would like to hear her engage with the media more often. 

“Yeah, it’d be great to know something about the person I’m voting for,” said local Democrat Stacy McDonald. “We’re still stuck in the two-party system though, so it is what it is. Still, it sure would be neat if she spoke to the press or put any kind of policies up on her website or anything. I liked the good old days when the candidates would pretend to listen to us, you know? I guess if I have any questions I’ll just hope they’re answered by a 15-second ad before the YouTube video I’m trying to watch.” 

As of press time, requests to Harris’ office for an interview were met with vicious, barking dogs.