Brought to you by: Angel Studios

Times are tough at Disney subsidiaries, with even the one-time animation powerhouse Pixar being forced to make significant layoffs. With so much happening, knowing just which positions are being done away with can be helpful.

The Babylon Bee has obtained the inside scoop and put together the following list of jobs being eliminated at Pixar:

1. Assistant Grooming Director: Though the lead Grooming Director still has a job, he will now have to groom without an assistant.
2. Gay Cartoon Intimacy Coordinator: In charge of overseeing all gay cartoon love scenes.
3. Senior Lame Narrative Developer: This was the person who made sure all stories were completely, hopelessly lame.
4. Fat And Ugly Character Representation Consultant: Now there will be no one to ensure the characters are fat and ugly.
5. Chief Kink Officer: No one was more integral in the effort to completely screw up the minds of children.
6. Cultural Appropriation Risk Assessor: With this job gone, there is a far better chance that a character will recklessly appropriate someone's culture.
7. Puberty Blocker Vending Machine Refiller: All break rooms and lobbies at Pixar will need to find new sources for artificial hormone alterations.
8. Caucasian Shamer: Berating all white people will now be a job shared by the entire company.
9. Chief Disabled Queer BIPOC Trans Communist Satan Representation Officer: The outgoing CDQBTCSRO will easily find a spot at another movie studio.
10. Entire Department of Good Ideas: Though this department has been empty for years, they have officially done away with it.

It may be difficult to get any agenda-driven movies made without the jobs listed above, but Pixar will probably keep trying anyway.

NOT SATIRE: Join the Angel Guild to save the film industry!

In an age where degrading media reigns supreme, Angel Studios is fighting to save the entertainment industry through media that amplifies light.

Previously, Hollywood has dictated what media enters your home. Now, Angel Studios is letting you shape the future of entertainment with the Angel Guild.

Each Angel Studios title is voted for by the Angel Guild, a body of members who watch titles before anyone else and decide which films and shows Angel Studios distributes. Thanks to the Guild, Angel Studios' films are not only outperforming Hollywood at the box office, but are later streamed for free by millions of people on the Angel app.

The Guild greenlit Sound of Freedom and more recently Cabrini. These aren't low-quality films, these are masterful stories that are changing lives.

As an Angel Guild member, you select Angel Studios' next film, stream shows like Cabrini before anyone else, receive complimentary movie tickets to releases, and much more!

But more importantly, in the Angel Guild, you'll be a part of changing the film industry, making an impact on culture, and bringing light to millions of families.

Join the Angel Guild to take a stand against media that is destroying our culture and children.

Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible.