CBS’s Stephen Colbert claimed on the Wednesday edition of The Late Show that “dumb people” who opposed same-sex marriage before the Supreme Court legalized it nationwide have had their “stupid arguments” debunked by a new study. However, Colbert naturally only focused on the more crazy predictions and not the realistic concerns that have come to pass.

Colbert began, “Oh, here's something that's not surprising at all. It's been nine years since the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage nationally in Obergefell. Now, here’s the thing: according to a landmark new study, in that time, same-sex weddings haven't harmed straight marriage. Well, duh. Everyone knew that at the time. It's like announcing, ‘New study finds making love to wife doesn't get neighbor pregnant.’”

He continued, “Now, but back before, ten years ago in 2015 before the ruling, back before it became the law of the land, dumb people made all sorts of stupid arguments against same sex marriage, including saying that legalization would inevitably lead to people marrying animals. Well, of course, marriages between humans and animals did not come to pass.”

After a bit of a digression into Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s brain worm story, Colbert added, “Not only has gay marriage not been harmful, the study says that by extending marriage rights to a greater number of couples, interest in marriage increased for the broader population.”

Sure, there is no concentrated political or social movement built around people marrying a dog, but after proponents won in Obergefell they did not declare victory and then go back to work on their proverbial farm. Instead, they moved onto gender ideology and sent misnamed civil rights commissions after bakers and called them Nazis despite people like Colbert claiming that other people's gay weddings will have no effect on your life. It turns out conservatives aren't so "dumb" after all. 

In other Colbert news, Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff joined him later in the program for an easy interview about what it is like to be the first male to hold his position and how he met Kamala Harris.

Here is a transcript for the May 22 show:

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

5/22/2024

11:44 PM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: Oh, here's something that's not surprising at all. It's been nine years since the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage nationally in Obergefell. Now, here’s the thing: according to a landmark new study, in that time, same-sex weddings haven't harmed straight marriage. Well, duh. Everyone knew that at the time. It's like announcing, "New study finds making love to wife doesn't get neighbor pregnant." 

Now, but back before, ten years ago in 2015 before the ruling, back before it became the law of the land, dumb people made all sorts of stupid arguments against same sex marriage, including saying that legalization would inevitably lead to people marrying animals. 

Well, of course, marriages between humans and animals did not come to pass, although I know one beautiful, lifelong union between a man and a worm. Not only-- why are you going "Aww?" Do you feel bad for the worm? Oh, no that worm has come down with Bobby Kennedy. 

Not only has gay marriage not been harmful, the study says that by extending marriage rights to a greater number of couples, interest in marriage increased for the broader population. I mean that makes sense, once gay people get into something, it always becomes a trend. Like RuPaul's Drag Race, the music of Lady Gaga, or dressing like you have a shred of self-respect. The report also found that after gay marriage was legalized, same-sex households adopted more children and there was a drop in the rates of syphilis. Well, sure ‘cause once you have kids in the house, there's just no time for anything fun, like movies or restaurants or syphilis.