And now, the funniest and most cringe-inducing thing you will see today.

Illinois, the Land of Lincoln, has just passed a bill in both chambers of its legislature replacing the term "offenders" with "justice-impacted individuals."

 I'm still grappling with the sheer absurdity of it all.

The Washington Examiner quoted a couple of state Republicans (I know, I was surprised to know Illinois even had Republicans) who rightfully called out the sheer stupidity of the bill.

State Senator Steve McClure (R) said, "There seems to be this rush to take away all accountability for people who commit crimes. If a person is going to get on the right path, they have to know they did something wrong. This apologizing for the criminal, the person who chooses to commit crimes to the detriment of our victims, the people who don’t choose to be victims of crimes, is absolutely incredible."

State Senator Terri Bryant (R) further noted how turning one word into three on official documents just sucks up more taxpayer dollars.

"Over and over again, we keep changing the name of how we are referring to those who have entered into criminal activity and each time we make that change, each agency has to make that change on every one of their documents. Right now, in the Department of Corrections, there’s multiple changes that have been made, and it’s costing thousands and thousands of dollars just to do a name change. Why is it necessary to make the name change?" asked Sen. Bryant.

So why does this silly name change from "offenders" to "justice-impacted individuals" even happen?

Well, as the Examiner continued, "Democratic state Senators told their Republican counterparts not to get too angry about the name change, saying the ARI program needed more representation."

Try chewing on that one, too, because my jaw's about ready to give up.

But really, what is it with leftists and making such unwieldy turns of phrase these days? Historically, they were the ones who could make a trendy slogan that caught on with the people they eventually sent to gulags or put up against the wall like "peace, land, and bread," "smash the four olds," or "yes we can."

Now we have awkward things like "people of color," "birthing persons," and "justice-impacted individuals."

I guess their purges back then and their continued subversion of society by dumbing everyone down have worked a bit too well, but I digress.

Beyond that, this just cements Illinois's image as one of the most corrupt states in the Union. Oh, you're a sex offender? Not according to Illinois, because you're actually just someone with alternative sexuality whom the mean old justice system came down upon.

Drug offender? Nah, you're just someone looking to have a good time, even if it kills you. So what if your habit also makes you steal from people or sell your dignity?

Such a law, if Governor J.B. Pritzker signs it (which he probably will), comes literally a day after Germany downgraded possession of child sexual abuse material (CSAM) from a felony to a misdemeanor, as our resident funnyman Kevin Downey Jr. wrote yesterday.

Related: SHOCKING? German Leftists Downgrade Child Porn from a Felony to a Misdemeanor

Someone get me off this merry-go-round called life.