And what did we learn from this embarrassing, 18-minute-long, over-edited spectacle located in what felt like a partially constructed office-themed escape room? Nothing, and everything.

First, it’s obvious that Harris is simply terrible at this. Her safe spaces are limited to scripted speaking events in which her one job is to read the words placed in front of her and, when absolutely necessary, preprepared and staged social interactions with willing participants who are only there to smile and nod and bask in her glory.

But even in what was a laughably friendly environment — more on that in a moment — Harris proved exactly why her handlers keep her on a script as if their lives depended on it. Every answer involved nonsensical rambling that tried to sew together endless contradictory positions with trademark Kamalaisms.

“Deadlines around time” was a personal favorite.

She tried and failed to paint “Bidenomics” as a success. She tried and failed to rebrand her nonefforts to address the border crisis. And she tried and failed to explain away the fact that she defended President Joe Biden’s capacity in office immediately after his career-ending debate performance — and right before she stepped over his corpse to measure the Oval Office for new curtains.

Her reasoning? “My values have not changed.” Sounds great until you realize her values are “communism.”

But this was all made possible by the second lesson: Harris is incapable of standing alone. To survive her first supposedly unscripted interaction with the media in weeks, she was flanked by two people who obviously want her to emerge victorious in November.

On one side, there was Gov. Tim Walz (D-MN), who, aside from blaming bad grammar for stolen valor, was nothing more than a handbag-holder for Harris. His main job seemed to be offering supportive nods and smiles like some sort of emotional support dog. On the other, there was CNN’s Dana Bash, who eviscerated any claim to being a serious journalist by failing to offer any pushback on even Harris’s most absurd efforts to wriggle free.

The result? Harris came across as weak, as someone who cannot survive outside of her support bubble. Don’t forget: She may have climbed the ranks of California politics with relative ease, but against even the most incompetent opponents on either side of the aisle outside of her home state, she has failed to win a single vote ever.

And this leaves us with the final and most important lesson: Harris is an empty suit. Her undemocratic overnight selection as the Democratic Party nominee for president came despite having no support among Democrats as a presidential candidate in 2020 and stunningly low support as vice president under Biden. Sure, the dedicated have fallen in line and plastered on their Harris grins, but will the average adult fall for this Obama-run episode of The Emperor’s New Clothes?

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The campaign is simple: Try to pretend that Harris isn’t Harris, who is nothing but a puppet for the regime that continues to pull the strings from the shadows. Try to pretend that she has no values and that her values happen to mirror our own.

But even in just 18 minutes of screen time with one of the friendliest media outlets in America, Harris couldn’t keep up the act.

Ian Haworth is a columnist, speaker, and podcast host. You can find him on Substack and follow him on X at @ighaworth.