Robert Plant Exposed. Former Led Zeppelin Singer Robert Plant was accused of shoplifting after a staff member saw a suspicious bulge in his jeans. 

Plant had been buying £400-worth of clothing at Hitchcock’s Mens­wear, with girlfriend Gwendolyn Pidgeon, 26. Things came to a head when the store manager confronted Plant and asked about his bulge. Robert thought the woman was joking and laughed that she was looking at “his third leg”.

Battle of the Bulge

Plant told Madhouse News: “I had very tight jeans on that day and there was a bulge, yes, but that’s not illegal is it?  I can’t help the way I’m made. I made a lot of money off this bulge.” Plant made a joke that he was not smuggling anything but he was just glad to see her.

Franks n Beans

“The manager started arguing with me. She wouldn’t let it go. I just kept telling her that it was all me. It was my todger, my willy, my johnson, my knob, my joystick, tallywacker, my franks n beans! Eventually I dropped my trousers in front of everyone and just stood there in me knickers to show I had nothing to hide.”

Robert Plant Exposed

Apparently that did not satisfy the Manager, Sarah Johnson, who insisted on seeing the ‘bulge’ and accused Plant of stuffing garments down his trousers. Sarah Johnson and Security Guard, Woody Weiner escorted Plant to a cubicle where Plant dropped his knickers and stood there in all his glory. Johnson fainted and Weiner ran screaming. Plant was exonerated with flying colors. 

A spokesperson for Hitchcock Menswear, Jeff Thomson said: “The customer in question was exhibiting suspicious behavior and, when the store manager confronted the customer, he became abusive and threatened us with his massive member. Our employees feared for their safety and the safety of our patrons.”

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