Democrats kicked off their convention in Chicago with all the fanfare of a rejuvenated party eager for the general election — having escaped any and all critical press interviews of the two candidates leading the ticket.

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Tim Walz Introduced as ‘Command Sergeant Major’

The Democrats’ vice-presidential pick was introduced at a DNC meeting as a “command sergeant major” without correction, despite never completing the coursework to claim the title in retirement. Walz left the military as his unit began preparations for deployment to Iraq.

Politico Celebrates ‘A Party Lacking Drama’ at DNC Kickoff

Politico reported Democrats arrived for their nominating convention on Monday in Chicago as “a party lacking in drama” even though President Joe Biden was booted from the ticket and organizers are struggling to manage pro-Palestinian demonstrators who’ve already interrupted events.

“Democrats,” Politico reported, “are disciplined, orderly and united around Vice President Kamala Harris and, more to the point, thwarting former President Donald Trump’s restoration.”

Chicago protests, however, erupted in the nation’s third-largest city even before the start of the Democrats’ convention, with “hundreds” of anti-Israeli demonstrators crowding city streets and forcing road closures on the eve of the event.

Illinois Democrat Gov. J.B. Pritzker announced the preemptive deployment of the National Guard to assist with security, confirming the likelihood of political unrest as thousands of pro-Palestinian demonstrators gathered in Chicago’s Union Park on Monday and some have already interrupted official DNC programming.

Top Democrats, meanwhile, are still harboring resentment over the way Democrats removed the incumbent commander-in-chief from the top of the ticket as the convention gets underway.

“Top Democrats are bristling with resentments even as they are about to try to put on a united front at the United Center in the Windy City,” New York Times opinion writer Maureen Dowd reported over the weekend, adding that “everyone’s mad at one another.”

DNC Platform Endorses Biden’s ‘Second Term’

Four weeks after President Joe Biden was successfully pushed off the ticket, the Democrat Party’s 91-page platform, unveiled on the eve of the nominating convention, endorsed his “second term” in the White House.

“In President Biden’s second term,” the official platform reads, “he will push Congress to pass legislation that is consistent with our values as a nation.”

Biden, however, will be in California as Vice President Kamala Harris formally accepts the party’s nomination on Thursday night.

DNC Platform Blames Republicans for Biden’s Border Crisis

While celebrating plans for the wrong candidate, the DNC platform also blames Republicans for the border crisis after lawmakers rejected the package negotiated between Democrats and Republican Sen. James Lankford of Oklahoma.

“Congressional Republicans,” the platform reads, “are currently blocking President Biden’s bipartisan border security proposals because they lack the courage to stand up to Trump.”

But the proposal shot down last winter was little more than a rubber stamp of congressional approval for the ongoing crisis, with 5,000 crossings legalized per day plus asylum for all.