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Democratic Presidential hopeful Kamala Harris made a new campaign promise today, assuring voters she would revoke President Joe Biden’s driver’s license as one of her first acts if elected in the fall, sources confirm.
“I’m going to start making America safer on day one,” said Harris. “And I can think of no better immediate contribution to the safety of American men and women than making sure this squinting dinosaur is no longer allowed to get behind the wheel of two tons of steel going upwards of 70 miles an hour. That’s not the America I want our children to grow up in.”
Defenders of Biden’s insisted that the revoking of his license would be far too drastic.
“Come on, the guy can’t be in that bad of shape, right?” asked local resident Cindy Makowski. “I mean, he was just in charge of our country for the last four years. It seems to me like admitting that he’s doing that poorly would be sort of admitting he had no business being our leader in the first place, but what do I know?”
As of press time, Biden was seen driving himself through downtown Washington DC, steering the car with his knees while he ate two ice cream cones.
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