Chris Smiley, 17, was horrified to learn, that the photos he had been enjoying a little too much, were actually naked photos of his Grandma at Woodstock. 

Nude Woodstock Photos

“I was just playing around on the internet and I came across some photos of hot chicks at Woodstock, 1969. There was one particular photo that caught my attention and fancy. I spent quite a lot of time with that photo. I was treating my body as if it were an amusement park. My Grandfather walked in and caught me and said to me ‘hey you know that’s your Grandmother, right?’.

Chris immediately threw the laptop out the window and attempted to pour bleach in his eyes. “I was screaming No, No, No and running around frantically. I threw up, I cried and I had explosive diarrhea. This is the same woman that took me to Chuck E Cheese, baked cookies for me and wears Christmas sweaters. How could it be the same person that I saw in the photos naked? I will never be the same.”

Not My Grandma

The Grandmother, Ellen Guarante of Plano Texas attended the original Woodstock festival in 1969. “It was a different time”, said Ellen, “I was young, naked, wasted and having a great time in all of my glory. I was a hot patootie, I can’t blame the boy for enjoying my body. There is nothing to be ashamed about. It was a great weekend. I have memories for a lifetime from that one weekend 50 some odd years ago. Did you hear they sold Janis Joplin’s soiled underpants and Jimi Hendrix’s fossilized poop that they found at the concert grounds?”

Young Chris is now forever emotionally scarred and has hysterical blindness. His parents have found a good therapist that Chris will be seeing 3x a week forever.

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