WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold and unexpected move, Vice President Kamala Harris has unveiled her campaign’s new slogan: “No Tax On Men’s Tampons.” The announcement, made during a press conference, has already sent shockwaves through the political world and has left both supporters and critics scratching their heads.

The slogan was conceived in response to former President Donald Trump’s “No Tax On Tips” campaign promise, which has been gaining traction among voters. Not to be outdone, the Harris campaign scrambled to come up with a slogan that would resonate just as powerfully, if not more.

Standing beside Harris, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, who has recently become a vocal advocate for men’s menstrual products, delivered a heartfelt speech. “When I was in those foxholes in Iraq, not a second passed where I didn’t wish I had a tampon,” Walz confessed, pausing to collect himself. “I need to clarify,” he added, “my PTSD didn’t come from carrying that weapon of war, but rather, from NOT carrying that weapon of female protection.”

Harris, clearly pleased with the new direction, added her own unique touch. “A tampon unburdens us by what has been,” she declared, in a statement that left many wondering if it was meant to be profound or if it was just the latest in a series of enigmatic quotes from the Vice President.

The press conference quickly took an emotional turn as reporters from MSNBC and CNN broke into spontaneous applause and even shed tears of joy. “This is the kind of leadership America needs,” gushed one MSNBC correspondent. “A candidate who understands the struggles of everyday Americans—especially those who have been burdened by the unjust taxation of men’s tampons.”

The new slogan has already sparked a flurry of activity on social media, with hashtags like #MenNeedTamponsToo and #TamponsForAll trending nationwide. The campaign has also inspired a wave of memes and parodies, but the Harris team is taking it all in stride, insisting that their message is serious and vital.

Critics, however, are less than impressed. “This is nothing more than a desperate attempt to outdo Trump with a slogan that makes no sense,” said a spokesperson for the RNC. “Men don’t even use tampons, so what exactly is the point here?”

Despite the backlash, the Harris campaign remains undeterred. “We’re breaking barriers and starting conversations that need to be had,” a campaign insider said. “If that means making tampons a symbol of gender equality and taxation reform, so be it.”

As the 2024 election approaches, one thing is clear: with slogans like “No Tax On Men’s Tampons,” the Harris campaign is determined to keep voters on their toes—or perhaps, in this case, on their tampons.

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