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Presidential nominee Kamala Harris announced her running mate earlier today, an unknown yet oddly familiar politician named Moe Schmiden, sources confirm.
“It’s the strangest thing,” said local reporter Clark Wooden. “I’ve never heard of Moe Schmiden, but he seems awfully familiar. Something about the way he started sniffing that little girl’s hair triggered a memory, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Also, if this Moe Schmiden character is so good, how come we’ve never heard of him before? Something is fishy here.”
Despite the scrutiny of the media, Democrats stood by the inexperienced politician.
“Listen to me,” said former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “Moe Schmiden is the future of the Democratic party. He may be clinging to life and barely able to string together a sentence, but we don’t think that’s necessarily an obstacle to performing your civil duty. I mean look at me, Mitch McConnell and Dianne Feinstein!”
As of press time, VP nominee Moe Schmiden went to ride away on his bicycle and wiped out.
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