General practitioners (“GPs”) have a cushy life.  They work less and are paid more than their predecessors.   They work according to rules and instead of standing up to the government, or resigning, they make life difficult for patients.

In frustration at the current state of medical professionals who were once known as family doctors, Dr. Vernon Coleman has penned an unofficial statement from the British Medical Association (“BMA”) to show what they’re really thinking.

By Dr. Vernon Coleman

So, GPs (who used to be called family doctors but to use that term now would be a major fraud) are to work to rule. They haven’t got the guts to resign (largely because they couldn’t get jobs outside the NHS) so they’re going to make life difficult for the sick, the frail and the elderly and they’re going to cause a good deal of pain and many deaths.

As I proved weeks ago, GPs are doing far less work today than they were doing decades ago. GPs have never had such a cushy life – they work far less and are paid far more than any of their predecessors. (If anyone from the BMA has the guts to debate this with me I’d be happy to destroy all their arguments in their defence.)

Related: NHS: What’s wrong and how to put it right

It’s said that GPs went on strike 60 years ago. But they didn’t. They threatened to resign en masse. That’s very different.

Today’s GPs don’t have the courage to resign or to take on the government. Instead, they’re going to punish patients.

Meanwhile, here is an unofficial statement from the British Medical Association – the doctors’ trade union and the patients’ enemy.

General practitioners (formerly known as “family doctors”) are tired of being put upon by members of the public. For a miserly £153,000 a year, doctors are expected to work three whole days every week (except for lunchtimes and eight weeks of holidays). During this time GPs are expected to listen to an endless series of moans and complaints from people they probably hardly know and in many cases have never met before.

“Everyone I see has something wrong with them,” complained one GP. “People whinge and complain about everything under the sun. Complete strangers tell me about their strange bowel movements and moan about the fact that they are bleeding or in pain. It’s utterly outrageous! When I used to see patients in the flesh they would expect me to look at bits of their bodies – and even touch them! Some of them probably hadn’t had a shower for hours. I’m supposed to do this for 23 hours a week. And for a miserly £153,000 a year. It’s quite unacceptable. What do people expect me to do about their problems? All this talk about illness is very depressing and interferes with my work-life balance.”

And so in future doctors in the UK will refuse to see or speak to any patients. Instead, patients who contact their GP will be sent an automated “Get Well” email and invited to attend a local clinic where they will be vaccinated by a nurse or possibly someone who is not a nurse but who wears a white coat.

“It’s more than they deserve,” said a BMA spokesdoctor. “But it will enable our members to get on with their own lives without having to listen to other people’s problems.”

Note: It’s a fair bet that the BMA probably does not recommend Vernon Coleman’s book `How to stop your doctor killing you’. Nevertheless, the book (which is packed with practical advice for people who do come into contact with doctors) is available via the bookshop on http://www.vernoncoleman.com People who do manage to see a doctor may like to carry the book with them and, at their own risk, to display it at all times.

About the Author

Vernon Coleman MB ChB DSc practised medicine for ten years. He has been a full-time professional author for over 30 years. He is a novelist and campaigning writer and has written many non-fiction books.  He has written over 100 books which have been translated into 22 languages. On his website, www.vernoncoleman.com,  there are hundreds of articles which are free to read.