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This article was originally published on Liberty Beacon - Satire. You can read the original article HERE
Commentary by Bill the Butcher
Every president has faced challenges to his mental capacity at some point in his tenure as Commander in Chief. If you will note, every president went stark grey during their time in office. Now there are several contributing factors for this. The ungodly hours required for baby kissing alone for one. In spite of having a cabinet, a large portion of decisions made by a president are made alone in the wee hours of the night. And even when advisors are present it always boils down to someone eventually asking, “What you gone do?” Be it Comanches or Chinaman the buck really does float down into the Oval Office like that feather that landed at Forest Gump’s feet. The trick is Forest can’t be the one sitting behind the desk in the Oval Office. Life is like a box of votes . . . you never know what you’re gonna get until the Supreme Court tells you!
Credible witnesses are lining up on both sides of the isle testifying that “Mr. President” just might be two bubbles short of plumb. Did I say “two” bubbles? Asking him a question on that last debate was like asking Honey Boo Boo how her latest diet’s coming along. That’s the bad news. The good news is we have bipartisanism at last. A substantial number of our “servants” in Congress agree that our Commander in Chief is crazier than an outhouse rat. He comes on a press conference like Porky Pig, and Karine Jean-Pierre plays Step N’ Fetch it for a room full of flabbergasted reporters. I crappith thee not
Presidents are held to a higher standard than the rest of us peons. I, myself was lovingly placed in The Wellington Institute for Used Up Drunks for my indiscretions while Holy Joe gets to stick his finger in some little girl’s ear or Bill Clinton sticks his finger . . . well, you know where he stuck his finger, and more than a few cigars. Those were Swisher Sweets for the books! But all presidents are expected to stand up there and lie convincingly. “Ah nevah had sex wid dat woming!” Or the legendary, “I’m not a crook!” Hell no he wasn’t a crook. He was a drunk, just like me, and his cabinet was a liquor cabinet. Left the White House crying ‘bout his mama! Cry to yo’ mama, cry to yo’ mama! Jesus Christ, sitting next to God Almighty, waiting on us to show up naked! No wonder we’re being invaded by Mexico. Viva Max!
So, they had this expert in Parkinson’s show up at the White House to settle the question once and for all. Has anyone here heard his findings? Never forget this is probably a doctor who owns a butt load of Pfizer stock, not saying that would sway his opinion of El Presidenté shaking all over the Oval Office like Elvis. Then Biden flew right over to Europe to take a nap. Even Nancy, older than Kieth Richards, Pelosi said, “Oh my!”
So, what are the Dummycrats gone do? Why, try to run Cumala Harris, ha ha ha! Those ha’s are from her last press conference. “Ms Vice President, do you have an opinion on Israel bombing the BeJesus out of those school kids in the Gaza Strip?” “Ha ha ha ha, they should’ve been in school! Ha ha ha ha.” Where were the girls like Ms Harris when I was in school? Anyway, all they have to do is act like the Democrat Primaries never happened, stuff them ballot boxes real good and we’ll have our first woman president. She IS a woman, right. Somebody look in her pants.
BREAKING: Biden bails out of the Presidential race and attempts to Unite the Party Behind VP Harris … to be continued …
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