MILWAULKEE—“Yes, it’s true. Sydney Sweeney is going to be my running mate,” Trump declared at a press conference at the 2024 RNC Convention. “She’s talented, she’s beautiful, and she’s going to help us make America great again.” Trump also announced his new slogan, “2024 or Bust!”

Sweeney, known for her roles in “Euphoria” and “The White Lotus,” appeared on stage alongside Trump, looking slightly bewildered but waving enthusiastically to the crowd. “I’m honored to be here,” she said, clearly trying to make sense of the situation. “I mean, I never expected my acting career to lead to politics, but here we are.”

Trump, never one to shy away from unconventional choices, praised Sweeney for her “star power” and “great ratings.” “This is the kind of VP America needs,” he continued. “We’ve had enough of these boring politicians. Sydney brings excitement, glamour, and let’s face it, a lot more viewers. The debates are going to be must-see TV!”

Political opponents were quick to react. “This is a joke, right?” said President Joe Biden. “But hey, at least now we know who’s been picking Trump’s TV shows.”

Former VP Mike Pence, who famously fell out of Trump’s favor, expressed a mixture of relief and bewilderment. “I always knew there was no one Trump trusted more than himself,” Pence said. “I just didn’t realize he meant it literally.”

Meanwhile, Hollywood insiders were equally stunned. “This is unprecedented,” said entertainment reporter Kara Warner. “We’ve seen celebrities dabble in politics, but this takes it to a whole new level. Sydney Sweeney as VP? What’s next, Zendaya for Secretary of State?”

Despite the shock and confusion, Trump supporters are thrilled. “This is genius,” said Karen McAllister, a devoted fan from Florida. “Sydney Sweeney is amazing. Now we’ve got beauty and brains in the White House!”

The campaign slogan has already been updated to reflect the new dynamic: “Make America Great Again, With a Hollywood Twist.” Bumper stickers, hats, and T-shirts featuring the slogan and an image of Trump and Sweeney are flying off the shelves.

Social media is abuzz with reactions. “Trump picking Sydney Sweeney as VP is peak 2024,” tweeted one user. “Can’t wait for the debates. Imagine the drama!”

In a final flourish, Trump announced that the first order of business, should he and Sweeney be elected, would be to host a star-studded gala at the White House, featuring performances by A-list celebrities and a live broadcast on all major networks. “It’s going to be yuge,” Trump promised. “The biggest, best party America has ever seen.”

As the 2024 campaign heats up, one thing is certain: with Trump and Sweeney on the ticket, it promises to be a spectacle unlike any other. Stay tuned, America. The Trump show just got a Hollywood makeover.

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