WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an effort to contextualize Biden's poor performance in last week's presidential debate, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has stated that Biden was impaired during the debate as he was still suffering from jet lag from driving that big rig around during the ‘60s.

According to her statement, Biden was so exhausted from the jet lag caused by long days and late nights of driving an 18-wheeler tractor-trailer back in the summers of the ‘60s that he ended up completely unprepared for the first presidential debate.

"While there were some aspects of the president's debate performance that may have appeared sub-ideal, it's important for us all to remember that he was still being impacted by the jet lag he acquired while driving around big rigs as his summer job 60 years ago," said black and gay Press Secretary Jean-Pierre, who — in addition to being black — is also gay. "Really, if you examine the facts fairmindedly, you'll see that President Biden was not suffering from dementia or cognitive impairment, as conservative quacks and ordinary debate watchers are claiming. He was just a little under the weather from all that jet lag."

President Biden was unavailable for comment as he was taking a nap at the time, but Press Secretary Jean-Pierre explained that it was just because he still hadn't adjusted to Eastern Standard Time yet.

At publishing time, the Trump campaign had clarified that "the only thing Lyin' Joe ever rigged was an election."

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