ATLANTA, GA — Following Biden's debate performance, First Lady Jill Biden offered her husband a treat for his efforts at a rally following the event.

"Who's a good boy?" Jill asked a glazed-over Joe. "Does my Joey want a snacky-snack? Good boy! You did so great up there, not dying and totally staying upright for so many minutes. Atta boy!"

Jill then energized the assembled crowd by having Joe jump through a hula hoop and walk around on his hind legs. At one point, the President attempted to lift his leg on a chair, prompting Jill to give him a quiet correction.

"No no, bad Joey! Come get your scooby snack! There's a good boy! Sit Joey, sit! No, no biting, walk away from the underage girl…"

Secret Service agents were on high alert in case the President became spooked by the bright lights and loud noises and tried to bolt or possibly bite a bystander. They say they've had lots of practice with the First Dog back at the White House.

As of publishing time, Jill Biden was trying to corral her husband back on stage after he ran off in pursuit of a passing ice cream truck.

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