ATLANTA—In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, CNN has announced that it will be implementing new rules for its upcoming presidential debate, in which Former President Donald Trump will be trapped in a sound-proof glass room and only be allowed to respond using sign language. The announcement has sent shockwaves through the political and conspiracy theory communities, with many people expressing their fear and unease about the possibility of censorship and political manipulation. 

“We are pleased to announce that we will be implementing new rules for our upcoming presidential debate, in which Trump will be trapped in a sound-proof glass room and only be allowed to respond using sign language,” said CNN spokesperson, Dippe Chit, in a recent press conference. “We believe that this is the best way to ensure that our viewers can continue to learn about the importance of tolerance and acceptance, and to promote cultural sensitivity in a fun and engaging way.” 

The new rules will include a variety of restrictions and limitations on Trump’s ability to communicate, including a strict time limit of zero seconds, a ban on all words that begin with the letter “T,” and a requirement that he wear a “Make America Great Again” hat at all times during the event. 

“This is a game-changer,” said one enthusiastic CNN viewer, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “I’ve always thought that the best way to promote tolerance and acceptance was to censor and silence anyone who disagrees with us, and what better way to achieve that than by trapping Trump in a sound-proof glass room and only allowing him to respond using sign language? We are literally saving democracy by not letting Trump speak.” 

But not everyone is convinced, and many people are calling CNN’s decision to implement new debate rules a self-serving compromise, arguing that it is impossible for tolerance and acceptance to be achieved through censorship and political manipulation. 

“This is ridiculous,” said one skeptical observer, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “How can anyone think that it’s a good idea to trap someone in a sound-proof glass room and only allow them to respond using sign language, and then claim that it’s promoting tolerance and acceptance? We should probably have him in an air-proof room instead.” 

Despite the backlash, CNN remains defiant, and has vowed to continue promoting tolerance and acceptance through the censorship and silencing of anyone who disagrees with them. 

“I know that this is a risky strategy, but I believe that it’s the right thing to do,” said CNN spokesperson Cee Nile in a recent interview. “We cannot allow dissent and disagreement to destroy our way of life, and I am committed to doing everything in my power to ensure that it is not.” 

In the end, only time will tell whether CNN’s decision to implement new debate rules was just or unjust, but one thing is certain: this bizarre and outlandish story is sure to inspire a new generation of conspiracy theorists and political opportunists, and to remind us all that sometimes, the most effective way to promote tolerance and acceptance is to simply make things up as one goes along.

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