The past and present members of KISS are masters in the art of promotion and creating unusual revenue streams. But if you thought that they’ve exhausted every possible way they could to get your money, you’d be wrong.

Ace Frehley Will Clean Your Toilet

Kiss Guitarist Ace Frehley now has a full service menu for all your needs. For $6000, Ace will be the best man at your wedding, for $50 a week, he will pick up after your dog. However many agree that Ace cleaning your toilet for $7000 is the best deal available.  

Scrubbing Bubbles

The toilet package includes a full cleaning with scrubbing bubbles. Ace will clean the entire toilet, under the lid and all the nooks and crannies. “It doesn’t matter if you had the squirts or there are hard to clean stains. After I am done, you will be able to eat off that toilet” said Ace Frehley.

The package also includes a KISS urinal cake, KISS douche nozzle, KISS catheter, KISS toilet seat and a copy of Ace’s latest solo album, “Spaceman”. “Spaceman” features the songs “Bronx Boy”, “Toilet Boy” and “Rockin’ With the Boys.”

Tough All Over

“Hey things are tough all over” said Ace Frehley “that sonofabitch Simmons is keeping all the money to himself. I have to eat you know. I will do anything actually if the price is right. You name it and I will do it but it’ll cost ya.”

Just recently, Gene Simmons announced that he is firing Paul Stanley and all the other members of KISS. No one really knows who the other members are since Gene fired Peter and Ace. Simmons also admitted that the only reason he ever let Peter and Ace back in the back was so that he could harvest and sell their organs.

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