This article was originally published on Babylon Bee. You can read the original article HERE
If you're cruising the pews for a husband or wife, there are some helpful tricks to spotting a great future spouse. Here are nine things to look for at Church this Sunday:
Has a worn Bible - Excuse me, but I believe your holiness is showing.
Sings all the words to classic hymns even with eyes closed - Hubba-hubba!
Volunteers for VBS - Is it getting hot in here? It feels hot all of a sudden.
Rolls eyes when worship leader starts playing Hillsong - Yowza!
Turns to book of Hezekiah without even looking at the table of contents - Be still, my beating heart.
WWJD bracelet - like a beacon saying, "come, enjoy fifty years of wedded bliss."
Sighs dreamily and says, "if only I could find a godly spouse to raise many children with." - GO GET A RING!!
Has completed Awana vest - the foundation on which so many years of happy marriage are built.
Says, "Hey, check out this funny Babylon Bee headline." - This is the one!!
Find these at Church next week and a lifetime of loving matrimony could be all yours!
Check out Hasbro's latest update to the classic board game "Guess Who?" - now with more genders, inclusion, and fun!* *Fun not guaranteed
This article was originally published by Babylon Bee. We only curate news from sources that align with the core values of our intended conservative audience. If you like the news you read here we encourage you to utilize the original sources for even more great news and opinions you can trust!
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