Note: This is a satirical piece.

Thinking she would be crowned as President since she was the nominee of the Democrat Party, Kamala Harris themed her campaign “joy.” The newbie surged in the polls. Dems, knowing how bad she was, put her in their Candidate Protection Program. Then they let their media re-introduce the most unpopular and liberal vice president as some sort of brilliant leader. 

Kamala laughed and cackled at inane things, awkwardly cultivating her “joy” theme. People started paying attention. They listened to her and realized they had no idea what she was saying or even what she was laughing about. 

When she was forced to give interviews, they did not go well. She was angry about interviews because she was not told there would be questions.

In the ensuing 90 days, Trump seems to have co-opted her “joy.” He is dancing at his rallies, smiling and confident. His comics are doing actual comedy. Meanwhile, Kamala has become increasingly angry. Trump stole her joy. Dems will revert to type; I fully expect an up-and-coming, Soros-funded, Democrat DA to indict Trump on grand theft of joy (which, in most Democrat-run cities, carries a longer sentence than murder).

A joy theft indictment of Trump would likely lead to 30 heavily armed FBI agents, filmed by CNN, arresting him in a pre-dawn raid. But we all know he would never serve time for a killjoy arrest; he would plead out to a lesser charge of “buzz kill.” 

Dems weaponizing law enforcement for their own agenda has hurt this country. Kamala’s California “soft on real crime” history is not flying nationwide. The Dems are trying to let the ultra-privileged, Beverly Hills Menendez brothers out of prison by Nov. 5th because they need the two Hispanic votes. 

Kamala’s closing arguments seems to be that Trump has dementia and, oh by the way, he is Hitler reincarnated. She sends her minions out with that closing message: Trump is a Nazi and a fascist. When asked why Trump wasn’t a fascist dictator in his first four years, well that was because he has dementia and forgot to be one.

Trump is so bad at being a fascist that his “Nazi” rally in Madison Square Garden had Jews, Hispanics, women, et al. in attendance. Trump had the most diverse Nazi rally in history.

Kamala 1.0 did not work, nor did the “joyous” Kamala 2.0. Now we have the angry, name-calling Kamala 3.0. She’s been reintroduced more times than the McRib. And like the McRib, Kamala only works for just so long.

Biden announced he was going to make a woman of color his VP pick. It is clear that Kamala is a DEI hire gone wrong. When she loses, it will be the end of an error. 

It surfaced that Kamala was admitted to law school on an affirmative-action-like “economic hardship” or “educational disadvantage” program, when in reality she grew up upper middle class, daughter of two tenured college professors. It was an honest mistake: The admissions committee let her in because during her interview they asked her a basic question, and when she struggled to answer it they just assumed English was not her first language. 

Trump is winning on almost all issues: fentanyl deaths caused by a porous border, crime, immigration, inflation and the economy. He has RFK Jr. set to “Make America Healthy Again.” He has Tesla and SpaceX founder Elon Musk lined up to reduce the size and increase the efficiency of government. 

Kamala is winning on abortion, mostly by lying about Trump’s view of it. Trump is all about letting states decide the issue. She lied when she said Trump is against IVF, when he is all for it. He calls himself “the Father of IVF,” but to me that sounds more like one of Elon Musk’s kids.

Kamala is bringing out the big paid celebs: Lizzo, Beyonce’, Bruce Springsteen and Barack Obama. Texas rally-goers left when they realized they were not going to get a free concert from Beyonce. Then there was the awkward moment for Barack Obama when Springsteen played “Born in the USA.” 

You know Kamala is desperate when she fakes a Southern preacher’s voice and tells a congregation that voting for her is God’s will. The church in question was not prepared for her rare attendance; they ran out of wine after Kamala’s third time up to take communion. 

Ron Hart is a libertarian op-ed humorist, an award-winning author, and a frequent guest on TV and radio. He can be contacted at @RonaldHart on X.

The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of the Daily Caller.