HOLMES BEACH, FL — Climate experts noted today that hurricane Helene, which is currently forming in hurricane alley during the peak of hurricane season, is undeniable proof of climate change.

"This situation is completely unprecedented," said global warming expert and local dog groomer Rodney Carlson. "I've never seen a hurricane of this magnitude forming in hurricane alley during the hurricane season, and my records go back over 75 days! Clearly, this can only be explained by global warming."

Local resident Sarah Smith said she was also completely shocked by the coming storm. "I was just going to Hurricane Hank's to pick up some of their hurricane meatloaf for dinner, when all of a sudden the town hurricane alarms started going off," Smith noted. "You hear about these things happening in other places, but you never expect them to happen in your town."

"I guess this is the price we pay for destroying the planet with our dangerous CO2 emissions," Smith continued. "Still, I never thought I'd live to see the day that a hurricane hit Florida. Gee, I hope this won't affect this weekend's Miami Hurricanes game!"

At publishing time, climate experts warned that climate change was also expected to cause freezing weather and heavy snow in the Canadian Rockies this winter, followed by high temperatures across Texas next July.

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