A new poll conducted well past a reasonable hour shows that four out of five Americans do not want to be bothered on the phone and certainly don’t want to participate in our latest poll.

“Please take me off of your damn list,” said one of the few participants in our weekly ‘Hot Topics’ poll, where we cold-call people that have been working all day and beg them to answer our questions. “I don’t know how you got my number, and I don’t know why you’re calling me at 6:30 PM, but your entire industry is a dinosaur lumbering towards its demise. Why are you calling strangers and asking them how they’re voting?” 

Despite the prickliness of that guy, we here at The Daily Skrape appreciate his, and a few others’, participation. 

“I’m voting for Donald Trump, okay you idiot?” answered one eager poll participant. “How could that possibly matter? What are you going to do, publish one of the thousand polls that will predict a close race between now and Election Day, when a close race inevitably happens? Why don’t you go do something productive with your life?” 

As of press time, ugh, I still have a lot of calls to make to get through this list.