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His Name Is COLT?

His Name Is COLT?


This article was originally published on Liberty Beacon - Satire. You can read the original article HERE

Commentary/Satire by Bill the Butcher

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

During the prelude to the Revolutionary War Thomas Paine produced a pamphlet, “Common Sense.” As with so many things lost during the last twenty years, common sense is one. Let’s look at a certain familial situation. A mother and two children split from the home, leaving the father and one boy left. Subsequently, the father and son are evicted from the home. Long about this time dad bought the son a gun. Let me be politically correct here. The press calls these things “AR platform” not specifically the Colt product to avoid slander charges, I guess. I just call them machine guns as opposed to “deer rifle” because they have that “popity popity” capability. Oh, by the way, kid’s name is “Colt!”

Well, last year Colt runs his mouth online and the police show up because he kinda, maybe, sorta said he was gonna shoot up a school. The dad told Georgia’s finest that yes, he bought the kid a gun. Seems he wanted to get Colt interested in hunting so he’d get away from shooting them demons in his head on computer games. And yes, there were tons of guns in the house but if ole Colt shot anybody dad would put him on restriction. Now this guy couldn’t pay the rent but he’s got a forty-five in every room of the house, you know, just in case a black person knocks on the door. Gee, Billy Joe Jim Bob Frank, what could possibly go wrong?

Well, the cops couldn’t find any reason to proceed so they left their cards and split. Colt had trouble at school so he was put in another school. I might add that this cotton headed little bastard LOOKED crazy! Even for Georgia! His father told the cops that he’d talked to the kid “extensively” about school shootings. Extensively. That’s a big word for Georgia. And I’m sure Colt took notes. You see where we’re going with this, folks? Now, I’m not casting aspersions on the folks of Georgia, being born in Shreveport myself, but wouldn’t you think it might be time to knock dad in the head with a rusty piece of farm machinery? Asking for a friend.

So anyway, last week Colt went to school and killed four people. Two teachers and two kids. And shot about a dozen more until he ran out of bullets. Those same Georgia cops showed up and took away his hall pass. This is my surprised face. To their credit they arrested pops too. Did you see the dad’s mug shot? See why Colt couldn’t find a date? I mean, hell, mama ran off with the other kids. Seeing dad’s mug shot I hope they weren’t girls. I mean just saying!

You are never going to disarm America. We need guns if for no other reason just to shoot people like Colt when he comes a calling. A well regulated militia? Just apply common sense. This wasn’t some kid plinking beer cans in his back yard with a twenty-two. There were bigger red flags flying than Santa Anna had waving above the San Fernando Church at the dawn at the Alamo! The estranged mother even called trying to alert people that very day. And it’s not just Georgia. I pick on Georgia because well, it’s Georgia. But we have this in Texas too. A few years ago I had to run over to a school because Puck’s diabetes was acting up and they were sending her home. Like a good doobie I’d left my pistol in the car because there a law in Texas that you can’t carry a gun in school. Imagine that! So I’m sitting there in the hall waiting for the school nurse to collect Puck and I noticed some things. People were supposed to report to the office upon arrival but many just walked right in through the crowds of kids milling in the hallway without a wave or a howdy. Oh, there were teachers there. For what that was worth. No security. And it dawned on me that in the event of a psychotic break I was the only one sitting on a set of balls and I’d left my gun in the car! This situation is rampant. It’s called “gun free zones.” When Charles Whitman went nuts local people kept his head and body count down with their rifles in their trucks. When I was in high school kids in the FFA usually had a rifle, a shotgun, or both prominently displayed in the rear window of their truck. No one was armed at Luby’s! There was a law!

I repeat, you will never disarm America. What we have to do is raise the cost of being stupid. I find it amazing that every school doesn’t have an armed guard. We have them at banks to guard our money. And it’s already guarded by the FDIC! Let the dumbass leave with all them marked bills. The first time a teacher shoots a killer as he, she, or it comes through the door with a gun will be the last time it will have to be done in THAT school.

Life is hard. Kids these days have a harder life than fifty years ago. And the Woke Folks are making sure our most precious assets are ill prepared for this. Pronouns have more importance than pro-guns. But a gun properly used will save their lives. Drag Queen Storytime will not! So find that piece of rusty farm machinery and get to work.

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This article was originally published by Liberty Beacon - Satire. We only curate news from sources that align with the core values of our intended conservative audience. If you like the news you read here we encourage you to utilize the original sources for even more great news and opinions you can trust!

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