SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local man Mark Griggs found himself searching in vain for a dried-out magic marker and broken rubber bands this week after his wife, Laurel, cleaned out the family's kitchen junk drawer.

"Where's all our junk that can't be used for anything?" Griggs asked. "I wish I could find that half a rubber band I shoved in here two years ago. I knew I'd need it someday."

Laurel had reportedly cleaned out the drawer several days earlier and threw out what was apparently Mark's favorite collection of dead batteries, broken nail clippers, ripped Post-it notes, eraser-less pencils, and empty tubes of Chapstick.

"I didn't realize this stuff was being saved for anything," Laurel said. "It's all been rolling around in that drawer for years. I even told him I was going to organize it and he nodded in understanding, but I guess maybe he didn't realize ‘organizing' meant ‘throwing away pens that don't write.' He's been out by the garage digging through the garbage for twenty minutes. I'm worried about him."

At publishing time, Mark was devastated to learn Laurel had also thrown out the old work shirt with the hold in the armpit that he loved so much that he had gotten for free at that vendor convention in 2009.

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