Genesius Times  


Trump politely asks CIA snipers to not murder him while he is golfing, thanks

In a move of pure presidential class, Donald Trump has taken to social media to make a simple, yet h ...View More

BREAKING: CIA fires Trump would-be assassin Routh for failing mission

In a shocking turn of events, the CIA has officially pulled the plug on its notorious “Trump Sniper  ...View More

OpEd: When are we going to have common sense ‘White Dudes for Harris’ control?

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time we all face a cold, hard truth: every crime in th ...View More

BREAKING: Trump indicted for interfering with second official CIA assassination attempt of him

MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has been indicted yet a ...View More

BREAKING: National touring company has canceled upcoming ‘Cats’ performance in Springfield, Ohio

SPRINGFIELD, OH—In an unprecedented move, the National Touring Company of Cats has canceled its much ...View More

AOC: If socialism doesn’t work, why are all my socialist friends in DC multi-millionaires?

WASHINGTON, DC—Friends, I had another deep thought that I’d like to share. Lots of idiots out the ...View More

LEAKED: Taylor Swift contract to endorse Kamala Harris for $100,000 and lifetime supply of adrenochrome

NEW YORK—A leaked contract has revealed that pop megastar Taylor Swift is allegedly set to endorse V ...View More

BREAKING: Famous cats launch ‘Democats for Trump’ following reports of Kamala’s migrants eating pets

Beloved internet icons Grumpy Cat, Dinner Cat, and Hello Kitty have joined forces to launch a new po ...View More

Taylor Swift is growing out her mustache and armpit hair until Trump is taken off the 2024 ballot

NEW YORK—In a bold move, pop sensation Taylor Swift has announced that she will not shave her mustac ...View More

Former California Dem-turned-Rep switches back after sex scandal, ‘All is forgiven’

In a surprising turn of events, California State Senator Marie Alvarado-Gil has returned to the Demo ...View More

If you don’t want your pets stolen and eaten by immigrants, you may be a racist homophobe bigot

There’s a new form of bigotry taking root in this country—one that’s just as insidious as anything w ...View More

AOC hosts ‘Cooking with Communism’, shows you how to cook your pets

The new smash hit social video show “Cooking with Communism” stars democratic socialist Rep. Alexand ...View More

BREAKING: Cheney starts ‘Dicks for Harris’ group

former Vice President and celebrated Halliburton mascot, Dick Cheney, has launched a new political a ...View More

Kamala Harris orders Secret Service to use only NERF guns from now on

WASHINGTON, DC—Call her a power-hungry prostitute or a tyrannical communist, but you cannot call Pre ...View More

BREAKING: DOJ warns Russia ‘do not interfere with our interference of our elections’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a rare moment of transparency, Attorney General Merrick Garland issued a stern ...View More

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