Conservative Satire
Husband Puzzled By Strange Device Found Near Bread Loaf
LANCASTER, PA — According to sources, local husband Max Brosa was confused after finding a small, my ...View More
God Baffled That Democrats Managed To Ruin California
HEAVEN — According to sources in the celestial realm, God is scratching His head in wonderment that ...View More
10 Real-Life Examples Of Why American Measurements Are Better Than The Communist Metric System
Should we measure things in inches or centimeters? Pounds or kilograms? Miles or whatever it is they ...View More
BREAKING: Chiefs Sign P. Diddy to replace problematic kicker Harrison Butker
In an unprecedented move that has left the NFL world buzzing, the Kansas City Chiefs have announced ...View More
Republicans Embarrassed Again As MTG Wins ‘Biggest Set of Balls’ Award
In a stunning upset that left many Republicans red-faced and embarrassed, firebrand Congresswoman Ma ...View More
Wife Disgusted And Horrified After Husband Shaves His Beard She Asked Him To Shave
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Local wife Marge Thompson was repulsed at the hideous sight of her husband's doug ...View More
After Michael Cohen Testimony, Trump Trial Prosecutors File Motion For A Do-Over
NEW YORK, NY — Following testimony from disbarred attorney Michael Cohen that legal experts said was ...View More
Congressmen Build Special Soundproof Girl Congress Next Door So The Men Can Get Some Work Done
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With women on the House Oversight Committee raising a ruckus and bringing a halt ...View More
Crowd Cheers As Scottie Scheffler Tunnels Out Of Prison Right Onto Tee Box
LOUISVILLE, KY — The second round of the PGA Championship was already underway today when a minor di ...View More
Dad Tears Up A Little As Son Shouts 'I Have The High Ground!' During Lightsaber Duel
MISHICOT, WA — According to sources, local dad Allan Paxton found himself tearing up a little after ...View More
Trump And Biden To Debate Again In Clear Sign Of God's Judgment On America
U.S. — Donald Trump and Joe Biden have agreed to debate once again, confirming what many theologians ...View More
Donald Trump's 7 Debate Demands Revealed
Details were still being ironed out, but it was confirmed yesterday that the world could now look fo ...View More
Man Still Waiting For Puzzle-Solving Skills He Developed Playing 'Myst' To Become Useful
LINCOLN, NE — As he neared middle age, a local man found himself still waiting for the puzzle-solvin ...View More
Sports Illustrated Goes Bankrupt Trying To Provide Enough Catering For Cover Model Shoot
U.S. — Sports Illustrated has declared bankruptcy after trying to provide enough catering for their ...View More
'Harrison Butker Does Not Reflect Our Values,' Says League Of Woman Beaters
NEW YORK, NY — In response to an angry outcry from feminists regarding statements he made in a comme ...View More
Bill Gates is Dating Jennifer Lopez
Bill Gates made a shocking announcement today. Gates announced that he is dating Jennifer Lopez. Thi ...View More
Krist Novoselic Officially Changes Name To “That Other Guy From Nirvana”
Krist Novoselic, the long suffering bass player from the band Nirvana, has officially changed his na ...View More
Pro-Lifer Released From Prison After Saying She Was Blocking Abortion Clinic For Palestine
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a dramatic turn of events, pro-life activist Lauren Handy was released from pr ...View More
Nancy Pelosi Begins Dressing As Hobo After Learning San Francisco Giving Vodka Shots To Homeless
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Bay Area residents were doing double-takes today, as Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi ...View More
'Let's Get Drunk And Hurl Razor-Sharp Winged Needles Across The Bar,' Says Man In Historic Stroke Of Genius
LONDON — While contemplating the best way to pass their time at the tavern, a group of local men beg ...View More
With Tithing Down, Pastor Announces Today's Sermon Is Brought To You By Dave's Auto Body Repair Shop
MALVERN, PA — Pastor James Tanner announced this morning at church that tithes were down at Malvern ...View More
Dublin Opens Portal To Hell — Oh, Wait, It's Just New York
DUBLIN — Horrified onlookers were left stunned and disgusted while peering through what they believe ...View More
Local Hero Prevents Red Lobster From Closing Down By Continuing To Order Endless Shrimp
JEFFERSON CITY, MO — After making national headlines with its headquarters announcing that it was cl ...View More
BREAKING: Biden challenges Trump to a diaper-filling contest
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has challenged former President Donald Trump to a diaper-filling ...View More
Inadequate Judge Merchan can’t gag Stormy Daniels: ‘I’ve Tried’
In a shocking turn of events, notoriously small jurist, Judge Merchan, has been unable to gag Stormy ...View More
Biden draws his largest rally ever in Del Rio, Texas
DEL RIO, TEXAS—Thousands of illegal immigrants, mostly from Haiti, are congregating under an in ...View More
Biden draws his largest rally ever in Del Rio, Texas
DEL RIO, TEXAS—Thousands of illegal immigrants, mostly from Haiti, are congregating under an in ...View More
'Hang On, Let Me Check The Distance With My Rangefinder,' Says Guy About To Duff Ball 6 Inches
SCOTTSDALE, AZ — As dozens of avid golfers enjoyed a beautiful day on courses throughout the area, o ...View More
