Babylon Bee
8 Handy Tricks Women Can Use To Beat Trans Athletes
It's the dawn of a new era in women's athletics, as they are now open to dudes! While the playing fi ...View More
‘Why Do I Feel So Far From God?’ Says Man Scrolling Through X, Binging Netflix Simultaneously
JOHNS CREEK, GA — In the middle of his normal routine of scrolling through X and binging Netflix for ...View More
Palestine Protesters Scatter As Riot Police Charge In With Sticks Of Deodorant
NEW YORK, NY — Riot police armed with sticks of deodorant charged at Pro-Hamas demonstrators this we ...View More
‘Israel Must End Its Illegal Occupation!’ Cry People Staging Illegal Occupation
U.S. — According to sources, college students have illegally occupied public spaces across the count ...View More
8 Changes Biden Made To Title IX
Brought to you by: CrossExaminedPresident Joe Biden made significant changes to Title IX last week, ...View More
Hamas Thanks College Student Supporters By Promising Them A Quick Death During Global Intifada
RAFAH — Hamas has issued a statement of thanks to American university students for their unwavering ...View More
Asian Kid Who Actually Went To Columbia To Learn Gettin' Real Sick Of This Crap
NEW YORK, NY — As unrest due to anti-Israel protests continued into another day, an Asian kid who we ...View More
10 Famous Presidential Quotes If All Presidents Spoke Like Joe Biden
Have you ever noticed that Joe Biden has a funny way of speaking? From his endearing way of retellin ...View More
L.A. Mayor’s Podium Stolen During News Conference Touting Drop In Crime
LOS ANGELES, CA — In what some commentators are calling a political bug-a-boo, Los Angeles Mayor Kar ...View More
Archeologists Discover Fake 100 Dollar Bill Gospel Tract Used By Philip The Evangelist
SEBASTIA — A notable piece of Christian history was unearthed this week, as archeologists discovered ...View More
10 Famous Liberals Explain Why They Oppose Free Speech
While free speech boasts supporters such as Elon Musk and the Constitution, there are many Americans ...View More
'Trump Will Receive A Fair And Impartial Trial,' Says Judge As Construction Crew Builds Gallows Outside Courtroom
NEW YORK — Judge Juan Manuel Merchan was reassuring the public that former President Trump would rec ...View More
Columbia Switches To Online Classes So Jewish Students Can Participate From The Attics Where They Are Hiding
NEW YORK, NY — In the wake of ongoing anti-Israel protests that have engulfed the school's campus, C ...View More
10 Surefire Ways For Republicans To Win The Female Vote
With the November presidential election looming, Republicans are sadly struggling to win over female ...View More
Columbia Protestors Clarify They Only Want Death To America After America Is Done Paying Their Student Loans
NEW YORK, NY — As pro-Palestine groups continued to gather on campus following the establishment of ...View More
Winning: DeSantis Unveils Massive Circus Cannon That Will Launch Pro-Hamas Protestors All The Way To Gaza
TAMPA, FL-Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced Florida will now be launching all pro-Hamas protes ...View More
10 Great Benefits Of Being A Pastor's Wife
Brought to you by: The Focused PastorLife in ministry is one of the greatest gifts anyone can experi ...View More
'The Tortured Poets Department' Review: We Usually Love Taylor Swift, But We Question Her Decision To Release An Album That's Just An Hour-Long Recording Of Her Sobbing In The Shower
Don't get us wrong, we usually love Taylor Swift, but her decision to release an hour-long recording ...View More
Tragic: This Man Got Married Young And Never Got To Experience Getting Drunk At Bars And Waking Up Hungover With A New STD Every Morning
MENIFEE, CA — Members of the community were shocked and saddened to hear the story of a local man wh ...View More
Megachurch Worship Leaders Frantically Learning New Taylor Swift Songs For Sunday
SPRINGFIELD, MO — With the unexpected overnight release of her double album, megachurch worship lead ...View More
