NEW YORK—Organizers of Burning Man 2024 have announced that this year’s festival will take place on the steps of the New York City courthouse, coinciding with the highly anticipated Trump “hush money” trial. The decision has left many in the Burner community scratching their heads, wondering how the notoriously free-spirited festival will mesh with the stern, stone-faced atmosphere of a courthouse.
“We’re all about pushing boundaries and challenging societal norms,” said Burning Man’s lead organizer, Larry Harvey (or at least, his spirit guide). “What better way to do that than by bringing our signature blend of art, music, and debauchery to the epicenter of legal drama?”
Festival-goers can expect a unique experience, with art installations and theme camps set up alongside the courthouse steps. The event’s iconic Burning Man effigy will be replaced by a giant, flaming liberal man self-immolating in protest of “Trump and stuff.”
Rumors are swirling that some of the trial’s key witnesses, including Stormy Daniels, will make special appearances at the festival, offering exclusive workshops on “The Art of Keeping Secrets” and “Effective Hush Money Negotiations.”
When asked about the potential disruption to the trial proceedings, a courthouse spokesperson shrugged, saying, “Hey, it’s not like we haven’t had our fair share of drama and theatrics in this building already. A few thousand Burners in neon costumes and face paint can’t make things much worse, right?”
In related news, the festival’s organizers have announced a new theme for this year’s event: “Radical Inclusion… of Legal Drama.” Ticket prices have skyrocketed, with VIP packages offering exclusive access to the courthouse’s holding cells and a meet-and-greet with the trial’s star witnesses.
As one Burner enthusiast exclaimed, “I’ve always wanted to experience the thrill of a high-stakes trial while simultaneously getting my groove on to the sounds of DJ 3Lau. This is the ultimate convergence of art, law, and hedonism!”
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story, and remember: what happens at Burning Man, stays at Burning Man… unless it’s a legally binding non-disclosure agreement, of course.
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